At the beginning of this year I did that thing where you choose a word to define or guide your year. I chose the word “deeper.” Which has been lovely and painful all at the same time. Because to go deeper means more of me has to be shed. And my natural, fleshly side doesn’t really like that. It likes the word “mine” a lot.
The other day I was listening to a sermon or reading a book or something (it all runs together most days) and I realized that, yes, I did and do want to go deeper. But more than that, God wants to cut deeper into my heart. And that’s what He’s been faithfully doing. Thank you, Jesus (mostly).
It’s such a #firstworldproblem but our family is still physically displaced. All of our worldly possessions are packed onto a 48′ trailer while we’ve been living at my mom’s. Bless her heart. After a few delays with the closing of our old house, we’re now looking to close on the 30th. Lord willing. Please, Lord will. And even though on the surface it looks like we’ve been victims of a series of mishaps, God has truly, deeply, pressed it upon me that even this frustrating inconvenience has been ordained by Him. Even this.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
I say it a lot but, our theology is meant to affect our today. It’s meant to affect our responses to life — from the really big, devastating circumstances (which I’ve definitely walked through) to the small seemingly pointless irritations. Because if God is truly sovereign and in control, then we can meet life’s unexpected delays with restful hearts, knowing that even this went through His hands. I just believe that — because He says it in His Word and has proven it in my life. And by the grace of God, that truth affects my day. It marks my heart with peace. Because my God’s a good good Daddy-God. And He’s actively caring for me and my family right now.
The other night I picked up AW Tozer’s The Pursuit of Man from my mom’s bookshelf and something he said from the first chapter struck me. Forgive the length but it’s too good to shorten, “Our trouble is that we think of ourselves as being alone. Let us correct the error by thinking of ourselves as standing by the bank of a full flowing river; then let us think of that river as being none else but God Himself. We glance to our left and see the river coming full-out of our past; we look to the right and see it flowing on into our future. But we see also that it is flowing through our present. And in our today it is the same as it was in our yesterday, not less than, nor different from, but the very same river, one unbroken continuum, undiminished, active and strong as it moves sovereignly on into our tomorrow.”
Right now, no matter what you or I face, whether big and debilitating or small and irritating, God remains undiminished, active and strong as He moves us sovereignly into our tomorrow. That’s meant to affect us. Some days, some seasons, it’s a continual wrestling of the heart back to that place of truth. But it’s truth, none the less. And it’ll lift a discouraged soul.
So that’s me. From the world’s perspective, displaced and inconvenienced. But from an eternal perspective, resting in the sovereign care of my good God — Him cutting more deeply into my heart. Here’s to another week with Him. Press in and on, sweet friends.
Fill me, Lord…
How does that truth of God affect you in your current circumstances?