It’s one of those times. You know. That season when God leads you to do something that you really don’t want to do. Yet you know that if you follow His lead then it will for your good and His glory. Because that’s how He works. But…you still don’t have the emotional desire.

I’ve been here a few times before — stepping onto ground I didn’t ask for and never would have chosen. Sometimes it’s been rocky, desolate, near-dangerous ground. Other times it’s just been a little unpredictable and slightly inconvenient to my plans — like now.

But regardless of the degree, I still don’t like the menu. And He typically has to coax me through the front door. And something always smells funny in here.

That’s where I’m at. Heading down a new path I wouldn’t have chosen.

To make a long story somewhat short, I’ve never ever wanted to homeschool. Ever. Did I say “ever”? But as we prayed about what to do next year — as we’ve prayed every year — God has nudged us in that direction. And I must admit it has come with personal nausea, induced by fear.

I could go on and on about the feelings I felt when I withdrew them from school for next year. Or how overwhelmed I can get when I think about that scary “c” word. (“curriculum”) But I’ll spare you the details.

All that to say, God sometimes leads us to do things we don’t necessarily want to do. I mean, I don’t think Jesus wanted to die on a gruesome cross. Not that homeschooling is equivalent to crucifixion. But if we’re seeking Him, there will be times when He leads us to do something that our emotions rise up against.

That’s why I have to remember that feelings are real, but they aren’t always reliable. Feelings fluctuate and move. They’re fluid and fallen. God’s wisdom, on the other hand, is a firm foundation.

My husband and I don’t sense God being harsh. In fact, I believe He would be faithful to draw our kids to Himself even if we kept them in school. But for us, next year, we think it’s a decision of “best.” We think He has certain blessings for our family that we’d miss if we chose to not follow His lead.

So, what to do? Well, if we don’t yet know God’s leading about something, my advice is pretty simple (and somewhat churchy). Keep praying. Keep searching the Scriptures. Keep asking Him for wisdom. But the most important thing: Expect Him to answer!

Expect Him to answer.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
James 1:5-6

He promises to give wisdom to those who ask. He promises to guide the feet of His children. Emotions may not agree with the road He points us down, but eventually emotions come around as we follow after Him. I’m banking on that one.

 
Fill me, Lord…

Tell me about a time when God led you down a road you didn’t choose or plan. How did He bless once you followed His lead?
 

 
And for the record: This will not turn into a homeschool blog. And I don’t believe that a person has to homeschool to be a good mom or dad. This is just where God has our family for the coming year. Prayers appreciated.
 

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