I haven’t written on marriage in a while, probably because I said so much in the book. I’m all out of words. Not really. But the ebook bundle this week is all about marriage (and sex in marriage which will get some amens from my own husband). So it reminded me that we all need reminders of what’s real and true when it comes to “two becoming one”. At least I do.
One key truth always comes to mind when I think about all God has taught me in these 11 years of “wedded bliss”. That’s called sarcasm. And yes, my husband would think it’s funny. It’s the truth God calls me back to over and over, especially when my husband and I wander around in the not-so-blissful seasons.
Not Jerry McGuire, “You complete me” love. Or Janet Jackson’s, “What have you done for me lately” love. I’m talking real love. God love.
It sounds a little churchy. But it’s the bottom line: by this the world will know we’re Christ’s disciples, if we love others like He loves. (John 13:34-35)
But here’s the thing about this kind of love. We can’t give it out unless we first receive it from our God. This love flows from being secure in the sufficiency of Christ. It’s a love that’s completely beyond us and regardless of the other person. It’s a love that intercedes even if we’ve been hurt and forgives over and over. Just like Jesus.
When my husband and I walked through our darkest places, God gave me a perspective change that still helps me love (anyone) when I’m not feelin’ it. God taught me to look at my husband as my brother in Christ. He challenged me to focus not on what my husband can do for me (like Janet Jackson insisted), but to focus on how I can come alongside him as my brother to encourage and bless. And if I’m not receiving life and love from my God, that would be an impossible mission.
Looking through the lens of brotherhood tears down the walls I’m tempted to put around my heart when things are messy. And life definitely gets messy. Husbands and wives will, at times, frustrate each other. It’s the nature of humans and marriage. But I pray for God’s vision. I pray (again today) that I see souls with His eternal perspective, deeply rooted and securely standing in His love.
Fill me, Lord…
What prayer do you often pray when it comes to your marriage?