the “er” complex

February 29, 2012 By 16 Comments

My boys breakdanced in the living room the other night. Sorta. I guess they get it from their mama. *wink* Me and my Roger Rabbit moves. Don’t be jealous. As the little one “did his thang” my middle leaned over and said, “I danced better.”

Here he is, dancing “better”.

 


(Future Blackmail Material)

 

I can sound just like him if I’m not careful. It’s the “er” complex.

 

Who’s…
Prettier
Skinnier
Wealthier
Funnier
Holier
Happier
Hipper
Creative-er
Popular-er
Better?
Me or them?

 

I don’t ask it out-loud or even think it consciously. But at times I feel it down deep. I look to this world to determine whether or not I measure up, trying to see if I’m “better”…or at least as good as…everyone else on the planet.

But that’s not the point.

Sweet friends, He didn’t create us and love us and die for us so that we would waste our precious time looking down here for validation. Looking at the giftings and callings (and blog stats and dance moves) of others to determine whether or not we’re “good enough”.

We’re enough because of Him.

 

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

 

He waits so patiently, ready to pour out life-words onto us. He says things like, “I created you. I set you apart for good works. (Ephesians 2:10) I love you. (1 John 4:19) I’m for you. I know you — intimately and completely. (Psalm 139:1-3) No one else can do what I have for you to do. My eyes are ever on you. My ears are ever towards you. (Psalm 34:17) Rest in the you that I created.”

Because when we fall into the “er” pit, we wish away the one He made us to be.

Life is not a competition. It’s a mission. And love moves that mission forward. It’s a love that lifts others and considers them “better”. A love that serves and sacrifices, rather than clamoring to prove ourselves.

As we take our individual place in that world mission of reflecting Him, we glorify our Maker. We find freedom to simply be…His.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How have you struggled with the “er” complex?

 

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Filed Under: daily filling, He gifted you, keeping it real, the thought life, they call me mama
  • Lauren L.

    “Stand up and do some footwork…” HA! I had to skip forward because I was getting dizzy after the first 20 seconds. :)

    If someone isn’t readily available to compare myself to, I create imaginary competitors – in my home, at my job – as if to prove to myself that I’m not measuring up to whatever gold standard I’ve set for the day. Here’s to simply being His, simply sitting in the lap of grace.

    • http://www.larawilliams.org Lara Gibson Williams

      Ha is right. Footwork. And I know about those imaginary competitors too. Why do we do that to ourselves when life abundant exists in Him? Such grace. Blessings to you, Lauren.

  • http://profiles.google.com/rusheika Rusheika Furbert

    love this… I was just meditating yesterday on the fact that God loves me JUST THE WAY I AM. PERIOD.

    • http://www.larawilliams.org Lara Gibson Williams

      Yes!

  • Jmjohn22

    Oh my goodness! I catch myself doing this all the time about everything. Sometimes beating myself down sometimes as if it will build me up. But they are both bad. I love that you used Gal. 2:20 because that was my memory verse last week and it speaks volumes in this kind of situation. And always. It’s not about me and other ppl who are in the same situation. It’s about my Father. Ah! I love it! Thanks for this post, Lara.

  • http://simplystriving.wordpress.com/ Nikki

    This touched me so, Lara, as I struggle with comparing –which is basically the “er” complex, is it not?
    Yes. Life is not a competition. And me? I’m going to be striving to simply be His.
    Thank you!
    (hope you don’t mind I shared it on my Simplystriving Facebook page) :)

  • Rebecka

    I’ve never liked myself that much, and never felt like I was good enough. Lately, I’ve been trying really hard to change that and last night, I did something I’ve never done before, I thanked God for creating me to be ME! It wasn’t easy, but I’ll keep doing it. He chose to make me the way I am, who am I to say that is not good enough? Thanks for this post, I really took it to heart!

  • Hehiggy

    I really needed to read this. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are way too competitive, way too often, and I end up doing exactly as you described. Thanks for the reminder of who He says that I am and what I am giving up when I choose to compare. Love you sweet friend.
    Heather H.

    • http://www.larawilliams.org Lara Gibson Williams

      You are precious, my sister-friend. And yes, we choose to give up “us” when we waste our time comparing. Much love.

  • http://whitneychristine.wordpress.com/ whitney christine

    Mmm.. yes. Thank you so much for this reminder of truth!

  • http://ourfamilyforhisglory.blogspot.com Our Family for His Glory

    Yes, I find myself doing this as well! I love how you said that we’re enough because of HIM. (period)
    Jessica

  • http://twitter.com/crazycarlsons Christy Carlson

    Love this!! I am enough because of Him!! It’s easy to compare ourselves to others and feel inadequate. Thanks for the reminder that Life is not competition but a mission!!

  • Victoria76

    That video is Hilarously Awesome!!!! Is that their post-sickness energy surge? It makes me realize that I need to video the everyday craziness that happens in our house, and I never think to do it. How fun will it be to have that down the road. I know that wasn’t the point of your post but I just got caught up in the cuteness of your middle.

  • http://kathrynjfletcher.blogspot.com/ Katie @simply[his]

    Seems we’re shouting the same message, Lara! I was sent over to your blog to read your post on comparison because I also wrote on it yesterday. http://kathrynjfletcher.blogspot.com/2012/02/curse-of-comparison.html
    “We’re enough because of Him.” I love this. Simple truth that changes everything. Glad I found you today!

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