A dear friend and I met the other night for some much-needed girl time. Because it feels like we blink and 18 days have passed since we’ve sat face-to-face sipping on coffee. What the heck.

But we sat and talked and talked some more and caught up on kids and husbands and the state of our souls. Then we lingered in the parking lot laughing and philosophizing. Sorta philosophizing.

And somehow we got onto the topic of insecurities, specifically the insecurities that women battle regarding outer appearances. Lord God, set Your children free.

I despise insecurity. Because it’s such a liar. It tries to convince us that we don’t quite measure up. And then it gives us an alphabetical list of reasons why we don’t measure up and a color coded list of what we need to change. And in less than four breaths, we’re tangled up in self-loathing or self-criticizing until we can hardly take another step forward.

It’s understandable that so many women in our culture would wrestle against insecurity over outer appearances considering the bombardment of images from every direction. I know I’ve feasted on my fair share of insecurity over the years. But if we as a gender are going to experience the freedom in Christ, then there has to be a purposeful “putting to death” of that comparison plague in our minds. Because it is a plague. And if we’re not purposeful, it will eat us alive.

It all comes back to the whole “taking our thoughts captive to truth” thing. Because what we meditate upon affects our emotions, our responses, our perspective, and our daily victory.

So here’s a plan of action.

1. We ask God to reveal our thoughts. So often we think things that we don’t even know we’re thinking. Yet they affect us deeply. But God alone sees every fold of our heart and every thought we think. So we have to ask Him to open our eyes and grant us insight.

 

2. Replace lies with truth. Once we become aware of comparison in our spirit, we have to combat it with truth. Because if we don’t, it will multiply into more comparison. And more insecurity will try to make itself at home in our minds. So we speak true things — things that God says about us — out-loud. Yes, out-loud. You know I’m big on this.

 

3. Enlist accountability. Sometimes the thoughts come so quickly that we don’t have time to enlist accountability, but in general we need one another. We weren’t meant to run this faith race alone. So when we’re struggling against a thought pattern, it’s helpful to turn to a trusted friend for prayer and words of encouragement.

The truth is that you and I have been crafted and gifted by the God of the universe. We can walk tall, not because we think highly of ourselves, but because we think highly of what God has done in us and what He graciously promises to do through us.

We can walk tall because He is God and we are His.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:15

Can you imagine Jesus ever struggling with insecurity? Peter, how’s my hair today? It’s a ridiculous thought because He was so completely secure in His relationship with the Father. He didn’t need any approval from man. He didn’t need to measure up to some external standard of “beauty”. He was one with the Father, and that was (and forever will be) enough.

True, you and I aren’t Jesus. But if we walk by faith in Him, God says some amazing things about our identity. He affirms our beauty and acceptance in Christ. He declares our royalty as daughters of the King. He — the perfect, holy One — smiles over us because of Jesus in us.

Insecurity lies. It steals. It drags us down into pits that aren’t intended for God’s children. But in Christ there’s freedom — freedom to walk tall in the identity Christ died to give us. Anything less isn’t truly living.
 

Fill me, Lord…

What truths do you use to combat the lies of insecurity?
 

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I never asked him personally, but I think he was trying to get people to voice their created passions. The things God embroidered into the fiber of their being. The things that make you and me…you and me.

When I first heard him ask, my good Southern Baptist roots silently shouted out, “The bible, of course.” Or maybe “Church.” Or “The Holy Spirit. Yeah. The Holy Spirit.” But then I put down the Jesus-y answers and really asked myself, “What are some things that make you feel alive, Lara?” What makes me me?

It’s like that question a counselor once asked me, “If you could plant anything in your very own garden of life, what would it be?”

As Jesus-followers we’re rightly taught to sacrifice self. To lay down our lives. To die daily. But in that (true) thinking, it’s possible to lose something God intends for us. It’s possible to lose our individuality. Our created bent.

God loves color and texture and variety. I mean, He created over 20,000 types of caterpillars. 20,000! And when He designed you and me, He did so purposefully and beautifully. (Just read Psalm 139)

When we try to fit into some box the world (or church!) defines, in efforts to be praised or approved of, we may miss out on the beauty of our individuality.

I’m not suggesting we put all of our attention on our creative bent or our likes or our expression of self. I’m not suggesting we become so self-absorbed we miss the sacrifice. But I do think it’s good that we ask Him to unveil the you and me He designed.

It may mean we look different from mainstream. Or that we spend our “free” time in ways that others may deem odd. But life is short. And the question is worthy of reflection before our Maker.

What have You created me to do? What gifts and desires did You weave into my being? How can I incorporate them into my life…for my good and Your glory?

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:1-2

We’ll be most “alive” when we live out His plan for us, and that includes embracing our individuality. Out of the overflow of seeking Him first, imagine if we stopped striving to be what everyone else says we should be and simply be the you and me He designed. And imagine if we didn’t judge the individuality He brings out in others.

 
Fill me, Lord…

What makes you…you?

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I mean, really amazing things. Things that need your personality mixed with your past experiences mixed with your now circumstance mixed with the way you passionately lift your eyebrows when you tell that story or the way you snort when you laugh. Really amazing things.

He designed you to accomplish them. Before you were even a thought in your mama’s mind, He purposed it. He set things aside with your name on them — things that will bring Him great glory while satisfying your inner longing for significance.

And now’s the time. Today’s the day.

Maybe He’s calling us to love our spouse with no strings attached. Or to teach those kids all about the Lover of their soul…again. Or to do the laundry as if we’re doing it solely for Him. Or to pray for that huge mountain to move. Or to write that book. Or start that blog. Or lead that Bible study. Or tell that coworker about Jesus.

Whatever “it” is, imagine if we just followed His lead. Imagine if we dared to believe that God equips the called and makes straight the path.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

The truth is, I need you. Really. I need you to use the gifts He gave you, to do the things He crafted you to do. Just like you need me.

We need one another to take our place in His “body” and do the things He gifts us to do. To go the places He calls us to go. To write the things He inspires us to write.

The lies will come. I can’t walk through the bookstore without noticing the oh-so-many great books that already line the shelves. So many amazing blogs fill up cyberspace. So many gifted writers and influential speakers leave people with revival-ish truths. I start to wonder why I’m adding my “voice” to the already complex, persuasive conversation.

Why talk or write or create if everyone else is already doing such a brilliant job? But then God reminds me.

If He calls any of us to speak or go or create, then we have to speak or go or create. Not because He demands it, but because we will never be fulfilled unless we’re walking in the call He’s placed upon us.

Not only that, someone needs to hear it. I need to hear it. If He puts a fire in us to declare something then it’s with purpose. He prepares specific hearts for the inspired words that come out of our mouths. He prepares the soil so that the laborer can bring forth a harvest.

Then (Jesus) said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
Matthew 9:37-38

For those who don’t know what He’s leading you to do today, let me encourage you. The number one thing He calls any of us to do is seek after Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We won’t do that perfectly, but when we turn ourselves towards Him, lifting our hands in surrender to His will, He faithfully leads. As we love Him and praise Him and delight in Him, He reveals what He has for our today.

He created us to do some really amazing things — things that change the course of lives and have eternal effects. Let’s dare to believe Him for the equipping.

For those He’s “called” to memorize the Sermon on the Mount with me, friend, I’m believing Him for the equipping! Let’s press on…

{Week 29}

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
Matthew 6:30 – 6:31

Fill me, Lord…

What has He called you to do today?
 

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Here he is, dancing “better”.

(Future Blackmail Material)

I can sound just like him if I’m not careful. It’s the “er” complex.

Who’s…
Prettier
Skinnier
Wealthier
Funnier
Holier
Happier
Hipper
Creative-er
Popular-er
Better?
Me or them?

I don’t ask it out-loud or even think it consciously. But at times I feel it down deep. I look to this world to determine whether or not I measure up, trying to see if I’m “better”…or at least as good as…everyone else on the planet.

But that’s not the point.

Sweet friends, He didn’t create us and love us and die for us so that we would waste our precious time looking down here for validation. Looking at the giftings and callings (and blog stats and dance moves) of others to determine whether or not we’re “good enough”.

We’re enough because of Him.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

He waits so patiently, ready to pour out life-words onto us. He says things like, “I created you. I set you apart for good works. (Ephesians 2:10) I love you. (1 John 4:19) I’m for you. I know you — intimately and completely. (Psalm 139:1-3) No one else can do what I have for you to do. My eyes are ever on you. My ears are ever towards you. (Psalm 34:17) Rest in the you that I created.”

Because when we fall into the “er” pit, we wish away the one He made us to be.

Life is not a competition. It’s a mission. And love moves that mission forward. It’s a love that lifts others and considers them “better”. A love that serves and sacrifices, rather than clamoring to prove ourselves.

As we take our individual place in that world mission of reflecting Him, we glorify our Maker. We find freedom to simply be…His.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How have you struggled with the “er” complex?

 

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Any good I give, anything admirable in me, any righteous ways seen through my hands or words, have Him as the Source. Not me. I’m utterly depraved when left to myself. But He. He is love and beauty and perfection.

flickr photo credit: domenico salvagnin

Whether others see the natural abilities in me or the grace gifts of His Spirit, they all come from Him. Every good thing comes from Him.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.
(James 1:17-18)

A while back I heard an analogy that really put things into perspective. (Forgive me for not knowing who said this. It may have been Corrie ten Boom.)

She said that she imagined compliments as flowers. When someone gave her a “flower,” she accepted it with a gracious, “Thank you” and a smile. Then when she found herself alone, she took that “flower,” looked up at her Father, and handed it to Him with a gracious and humble, “Thank you.”

He gifts. He graciously bestows. If our minds stay fixed on the Source of our gifts and abilities, then pride has no place. (Proverbs 16:18-19)

My friend, He gifted you — first with His all-powerful, indwelling Spirit and then with grace-gifts meant to be nurtured and used.

He gifts us for our own good. He gifts us for the good of others. And He gifts of for His deserved glory.

When others speak praise for the gifts flowing from us, we can give a humble “thank you” and then hand that praise to Him, the Source of all good things. He alone deserves the glory.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How have you struggled with accepting compliments for your gifts?
How do you personally handle “praise” without falling into pride?
 

The post He Gifted You :: 6 {What To Do With Compliments} appeared first on Lara Howard.

But once He brought me back to Himself and I started praising Him and seeking Him — stirring Him up within me — those seeds began to take root (2 Timothy 1:6-7). And eventually they started to bloom.

flickr photo credit: keith

The way I understand it from His Word, He gifts us for three basic reasons. He gifts us for our good. He gifts us for the good of others. And ultimately, He gifts for His deserved glory.

Gifts given in love and for love.

For our good

I’m a mess without Him. Believe me. I do all the things that we as humans do. I fuss and whine and fight His potter’s hands. But thankfully He remembers that I can’t do life on my own (Psalm 103:14).

So He gifts us, first with His very own Spirit and then with individual abilities. Individual callings that begin as seeds and then bloom in due season.

When I move through life submitting to His Spirit and engaging those gifts that make me me, I sense His favor. All in grace.

He gifts us for our good.
 

For the good of others

He gifts us and calls us to certain tasks for the good of all His children. For the good of the church.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…
Romans 12:4-8

Not utilizing our individual gifts actually robs the church of something beautiful and needed. It robs the church of you.

For the church to powerfully spur one another on and then effectively touch the world, we as individuals need to embrace and engage the gifts He’s placed upon us. He designed us for community.

He gifts us for the good of others.
 

For His deserved glory

We reflect Him when we obey Him. When I do the things that He created me to do, out of the overflow of being filled by His Spirit, I glorify Him.

And He deserves all glory (Revelation 4).

We won’t do life with perfection. We won’t always live out of our gifts. We won’t always use our gifts from a heart of love. But that doesn’t stop Him from gifting.

He is love and grace. All the time. It’s why He gifts.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How has He gifted you in order for you to minister to His church?
How have you personally been blessed and spurred on by the gifts in others?

 

The post He Gifted You :: 5 {Why?} appeared first on Lara Howard.

Sometimes a sentence would come, sometimes three. But I never made it past the first paragraph. I inevitably closed that black and white journal with slight pre-teen indignation, “How could anyone write a whole book? I would never have enough to say.”

 

flickr photo credit: brendan debrincat

I was a math girl. English class frustrated me. Diagramming sentences bored me. And research made my eyes cross. But something in me wanted to write. Something in me longed to overflow with words.

My God had planted seeds of calling.

I think He does that with His children. He formed us. He designed us. And before we lived out any of our days on this planet, He knew the purposes for which He created us (Jeremiah 1:4-5). He then tenderly leads us into that call, gifting us accordingly.

As we delight in Him — “fanning the flame” and remaining sensitive to His lead — He places His will upon our hearts (Psalms 37:4). And when He calls us to do anything, He equips us for the task.

True, I was a math girl. But He awoke something in me a number of years ago. He watered that seed of calling and a writer started to bloom, prayerfully to His great glory.

 
Fill me, Lord…

What “seeds of calling” can you identify by looking back over your own life? (Don’t be embarrassed. You didn’t choose them. He graced them upon you for His great glory.)

 
If you aren’t able to identify any “seeds,” I pray you don’t fall into the trap of self-condemnation. That is not of Him. He loves you and has plans for you. And that phrase “seeds of calling” is not in the Bible. Trust Him with your life’s unfolding.
 

The post He Gifted You :: 4 {Seeds of Calling} appeared first on Lara Howard.

flickr photo credit: trey ratcliff

Now to stir Him up.

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:6-7

His Spirit enables us to walk these days in power, in love, and with self-control. Let that sink in for a minute. His Spirit enables. But we always have choice as to whether or not we follow Him.

At any given moment of any given day I’m either walking around in my flesh or I’m submitting to His Spirit. (Galatians 5:16) And it’s pretty easy to spot. If I’m fearful, it’s my flesh. If I’m rude, flesh. If I’m worrisome, flesh. If I’m anxious, divisive, immoral, or out of control, flesh, flesh, flesh, and flesh.

But when I “fan into flame the gift” of His Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control appears. (Galatians 5:22-23) And when His Spirit flows in and through me, I live the abundant life Christ promised. And it’s in spite of the moment. It’s in spite of my latest trip to the grocery store with three kids at lunchtime who wouldn’t stop whining. (OK, maybe I’m still a little scarred from that one.)

So here’s how I personally stir Him up. Especially on those extra-hormonal fleshly days.

• I confess :: Whenever I see *me* being all *me-like* I try to step away and confess. Hopefully before anyone gets their feelings hurt. I say things like, “God I can’t honor you or bring blessing to myself when I live out of my flesh. Forgive me.” I say it out-loud if possible, assuming I’m not in Target.

 

• I declare :: I declare His Word. I declare true things. He brings to mind verses I’ve memorized (another reason to memorize Scripture) or I may pull out my Bible. But however it happens, I start preaching to myself. “God you have sealed me with Your Spirit. My soul finds strength and joy and peace in You. Fill me, God. Fill me full.”

 

• I praise :: Usually declaring truth leads to praise. It’s just like church. A little preachin’. A little singin’. And even some dancin’. Just start dancing, people. Yesterday this song got me out of a momentary funk. But if rap isn’t your thing, then this song is bound to stir Him up within you.
   

• I believe :: I walk away from that moment of confession and declaration, choosing to believe. I may not “feel” Him immediately. But He inevitably shows up. He always stirs. I choose to believe that He will indeed fill me full again today.

 
We can’t even begin to walk in our individual giftings until we know what it means to walk fully in His Spirit — listening to Him, praising Him, and submitting to His lead. So let’s fan into flame the gift within us.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How do you personally “stir Him up” within you during those extra-fleshly moments?

 

The post He Gifted You :: 3 {Stir Him Up} appeared first on Lara Howard.

flickr photo credit: stephanie wallace

Jesus said it Himself. He offers abundant living. That’s not just church talk. That’s real talk meant to affect the way we live and respond to life. Abundant living does not depend upon my circumstance. It arises from within — peace in the middle of chaos and grace to the one reviling. Freedom.

But when life happens — loud and messy — I can struggle to get my hands around that abundance He described. I can flounder in the emotion of it all. Yet He came and died and then rose in order for us to go through these short earthly days on purpose — with victory. And by His grace, He didn’t leave us to fend for ourselves.

He gifts us to empower us, for our good and His glory.

The only way that you and I can move through these days with any sort of victory is by dying to self and being filled with His Spirit. That may sound foolish to some. But I’ve tasted and seen. My God is good. And His Spirit empowers.

In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in (Jesus), were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee[d] of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 1:13-14

I can’t explain Him, but I imperfectly know Him. And I know He gives Himself to His own. He pours His Spirit into those who believe, sealing us with a mark of permanency. And He does it out of grace. Always grace.

Unless we grasp the magnitude of this first Gift given to everyone who believes, we will never walk powerfully in our own individual giftings. We just can’t do it on our own.

We can’t love the unlovely. We can’t forgive the one who betrayed us. We can’t minister to the hearts of those crushed under injustice. But He can through us.

He gifted you and me with Himself. He gifted us that we would walk these short days empowered, regardless.

 
Fill me, Lord…

I know that Spirit-talk makes some a little squeamish. It sounds strange. It’s other-worldly. But how have you seen His Spirit guide or empower you?
 

The post He Gifted You :: 2 {The Ultimate Gift} appeared first on Lara Howard.

flickr photo credit: meredith farmer

We didn’t create the gifts that make us unique. We didn’t even choose them. He placed them upon us out of His great grace and for His deserved glory. Now He calls us to be good stewards.

In preparation for the start of a new year, I’m prompted to do a short, five-post series about our own unique gifted-ness. I plan to look at why He gifts us, how to discover and walk in our gifted-ness, and finally, keeping perspective along the way.

The kingdom of God doesn’t need another Beth or another Ann or another Kay. The kingdom of God beckons you and me to rise up boldly and confidently in the identity He has placed upon us. He calls and equips us to fully be who He created us to be.

For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-14

He. Gifted. YOU.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How have you wrestled with the idea of being gifted by God?
 

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