It’s true, y’all. The lies — all the lies — are killing us. Not political lies — though those may physically get us dead. I’m talking about the lies about God and life and humans and love and ‘erthing.

The Wrestling

I’ve been in a wrestling match with the Lord. Or maybe it’s been a wrestling match with myself before the Lord. Or maybe a wrestling match with lies. Whatever. There’s been wrestling going on. Mainly because Carlos Whittaker’s book has me all digging into my past and uncovering lies that steal life from me. The nerve of him. Actually his book is more like an exclamation mark at the end of a looooonnnnng sentence that I’ve been slowly speaking for about two years now. A long, run-on sentence with lots of grammatical errors.

I’m not sure if you were around these parts a couple years ago when I turned 40 and jumped out of an airplane. (You can hear/see more about it here and here and here.) That became known to me, myself, and I as my freedom jump — an ushering in of greater freedom to my soul. But the truth is, since then, I’ve still struggled with some specific chains that have had me bound. I like saying chains rather than idols because it seems more palatable. But let’s be honest.

The Lies

The chains — the lies — that have had me bound can be summed up in two words: man’s approval. And y’all, I’m sick of it. Sick and tired. I can look all the way back to my little girl years and see traces. From such a young age I bought into the lie that says God’s approval isn’t sufficient and man’s approval will satisfy. And those complete lies birthed fear and insecurity that slowly grew to be a part of me — a part of me that I didn’t even know I could be released from. Like another appendage or something. An ugly appendage with fangs and bad breath. But here’s the thing: Man’s approval cannot satisfy and God’s approval cannot be earned!

Man’s approval cannot satisfy.
God’s approval cannot be earned.

In clamoring and fearfully speaking/not speaking so as not to ruffle feathers or cause waves, I’ve been slowly strangled by the lies. I’ve savored the approval of humans more than the love of my Maker, denying His all-sufficiency. I’ve done it nicely. I’ve done it Christian-y. I’ve done it Pharisee-ically. But I’ve done it. And I’m repenting. Because God is too good, too glorious, too beautiful, too satisfying to lose my gaze.

“In Jesus Christ — in a solid, God-chosen relationship with Jesus —
man’s disapproval cannot hurt you.
And man’s approval cannot satisfy you.
To fear the one and crave the other is sheer folly.”
John Piper

The Solution

When we see that our hearts have roots that go deep into the soil of a lie, there’s only one way out: The Lord. We humble ourselves and repent to Him. We cling to Him. We gaze at Him. And we declare our complete insufficiency in ourselves to set ourselves free. We need His Spirit to do an uprooting in our deepest parts. We need because He truly is the One we crave. We need because freedom from a good God awaits.

Once we repent, we have to replace the lie with truth. We reject the lie and then replace it with what God says. We replace it out-loud and every time the lie creeps in.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32

Truth that Destroys the Lie

As I’ve been walking through my own process of greater freedom in the Lord, Carlos’ book prompted me to trace the face of God. To stare at the face of God. To see God for who He is. To see myself through His eyes of grace. And as I prayerfully stared at His sweet face, this is what I saw:

Your face, Lord.
Your eyes are kind and compassionate, not distractedly looking around, rather tenderly and genuinely focused on me, Your child.
Your jaw is strong and powerful, but not tense in anger, just ready to defend.
Your mouth curves in a small smile as you watch me, Your daughter, be me, making the lines around your eyes show — wisdom that defines You to the core.
Your nose breathes in and out — slow and steady — life flowing from and through You alone, giving breath to all there is.
You are so different from me — so other-than — yet I see glimmers of myself in Your face.
You are my daddy, and You aren’t angry with me. You love me kindly and truly.

God isn’t mad at His children. All His wrath was placed on His Son. If we truly believe that Jesus took the punishment on the cross that we as humans deserve, we have the Father’s full approval. Yes, we mess up. Yes, we disobey at times. Yes, we look to things and people to bring the satisfaction He alone can give. But He’s not an impatient father fed up with His ridiculous kids. He’s kind and faithful. And the mercy and grace of the cross is that in Christ God sees us as righteous — a scandalous exchange has occurred.

His kindness doesn’t give us license to walk a foolish life. His kindness leads His children to repentance, to worship, to obedience, to freedom. Because He is life. In Him is fullness of life.

So that’s where I’m at these days. Wrestling. Repenting. Believing. Awed by the mercy of my Maker — my Father — who gathers His children in with compassion and heals with His everlasting love.

Fill me, Lord…

(In true Southern style) how are you doing these days?
Reading any good, life-shifting books?
Being stripped of lies that have had you chained? Maybe it’s just me.

The post the lies are killing us appeared first on Lara Howard.

For those not going through my study, hopefully you will still be encouraged with this brief teaching on…fear. Yep. Fear.

The truth is that as long as we live on planet earth, fears will arise. But if we are in Christ, then fear is not our inheritance. Fear does not have to be our dwelling place. I pray that as we walk through unknowns this week, God would graciously teach us how to take our thoughts captive to truth. He is good. He is faithful. He is actively loving each of His children in the now situations that mark our lives.

Fruitful Affliction Week Two Video Teaching
(Superficial note: I’m not sure why my hair is wonky in that last scene. Call it motherhood.)

Press in and press on, friends.

 
Fill me, Lord…

For those going through the study, what is God teaching you? I’d love to hear.

 

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I took my two boys to the dollar theatre the other night. A creepy dollar theatre. I should have known to beware when yellow caution tape marked a huge X on one of the outside doors.

We got there about 10 minutes early — a record for my fashionably late self. We bought our dollar tickets and $4 popcorn. Scandalous. And we walked the long, winding, dim corridor to our movie.

You have to understand. Years and years ago, when I was a teen and before I knew freedom from fear, I fed my fears by watching horror movies. One movie in particular came rushing back to my mind when we walked that lonely, dirty corridor. The image involved…well you don’t need to know. I had to shake it off with a happy, upbeat, “Let me get your picture boys! It’s our date night!” I took it as evidence that we were indeed in this establishment.

Sadly, the hallway was better than the actual theatre. We opened the door to a dark, silent, beat-up room. There were about five chairs with huge pieces of plastic draped over them. Not sure if they were broken or if they were individual crime scenes. A few more chairs had rips in the faux-leather seats. The huge curtains that hung on the sides of the theatre were stained and greasy-looking. The ground was sticky from years of soda buildup. It smelled like feet. And I was sure we’d leave with lice.

This is about when I started quoting Scripture to myself, keeping a smile on my face so my boys couldn’t pick up any fear vibes.

We found a seat and both my boys looked at me, one voicing their concern, “Mommy, can we wait in the car until the movie starts?” “Why?” I asked. “It’s just…not good in here,” he said. Not good. Not good? Try “this is the setting for a horror film I once saw”. I didn’t say that. I just reassured them with a half-hearted, “It’s fine in here. We’ll be fine.”

Meanwhile I texted my husband. And my sister. “Has there ever been any major crimes in the dollar theatre over on $@#& Rd.?” Anonymity. They both said “no”, but I didn’t believe them.

My boys kept on with the “Can we just wait in the car? Can I sit on your lap?” So I told them I would walk around the theatre to prove that it was safe. All the while wondering what I would use as a weapon should someone be crouched in one of the rows. We walked. And no one was there.

“See. It’s fine. The movie will start in 7 minutes. Let’s sit and remember what’s true.” So I reminded them, “God is with us and He’s bigger and stronger and greater than anyone or anything in the universe. Or in this theatre. And regardless of what happens, we can trust Him to be faithful. To be for us.”

The last five minutes ticked really slow while I tried to distract them with Bible verses…and Temple Run. Finally the lights went out and the movie came on. But I have to admit. I turned on my phone’s camera and reversed it so I could see behind me just in case someone decided to sneak up on us. It was what a spy would do because I’m spy-like.

Finally about three minutes into the movie other people started filtering in. Like somewhat normal-looking people. Even a few kids with their parents. So my boys and I relaxed a little. My youngest even slipped down into his own seat. And the fear melted.

Fear

Fear. It’s real. It may be irrational or unnecessary. Not in my case but in some cases. It may be legitimate or absolutely expected. Regardless, we feel it. We enter a situation that we can’t control, and fear comes. But when it does we have two really huge choices to make.

One, regardless of the degree or validity of the fear, we can choose to either begin with God or begin with the situation. We can choose to turn our thoughts to the One reigning over the circumstance or we can choose to let our minds go down roads of “what ifs”. One route brings peace; the other brings…more fear. Debilitating, life-stealing fear.

The second thing we can (often) choose is isolation or community. When people started filtering into that theatre, all of our fears slowly subsided because God created us as social creatures. We’re meant to be in relationships. Authentic community helps us overcome our fear.

The enemy wants to isolate us, because there in the lonely places he can whisper lies that we’re prone to believe. But when we voice our fears in the presence of sincere, Christian community, they can take our hands and lead us to God’s throne-room in prayer. And that’s the only place to find true, lasting peace in the midst of scary, unwanted, unrequested storms.

“You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off;
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:9-10

I have to be honest. A few of my most gripping fears have become realities at different points in my life. But here’s an awesome truth. God is still God. He still ministers hope and peace when we find refuge in Him, even if the fear becomes tangible reality. He has grace for our today. And He’s over every aspect of His child’s life.

Fear may come knocking. But in Christ, it isn’t our inheritance. It doesn’t have to be our dwelling place. Peace and rest is rightfully ours as adopted children of the Almighty Father.

Who knew that theatre would stir up so much.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How do you overcome fears when they arise?
 

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It may be our kids or spouse or job or health or money or future plans. But regardless of the what, we can cling to it because deep down we think God might mess it up. Or take it away. Or change it. We place some measure of security in how things are now or how we want it to be tomorrow, so we cling.

Yet out of love He peels back our tight little fingers. Out of the desire for us as His children to live in the place of complete surrender, He slowly reveals that to which we’re clinging. And then comes the release.

Most times it’s a slow release. One we fight every single step of the way because we’re afraid of the unknown. We’re afraid that if we fully open up our hand we’ll have to walk a road we’re not strong enough to walk. Which ultimately is the point. His strength, not mine.

But at the root of fear — at the root of clinging — is unbelief. We fear because in our humanity we don’t believe that God really is good. In our short-sightedness we question whether or not He really will work all things — everything — together for our good and His glory.

But…He will.

Know that the Lord, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 100:3-5

His Spirit within us whispers words of faith, “You’re Father is faithful. He’s good. He never leaves or forsakes. He will go with you and before you and surround you. When you’re weak you’re actually strong because you rest in His power. Release. Believe.”

One by one we lay the fears that we’re tempted to harbor at the foot of His throne. We declare true things to ourselves and ask others to speak true things into our ears. And slowly, slowly we open up our hand and say through His gracious empowering, “I trust You, God, even with this. Have Your way because Your way is good.”

 
Fill me, Lord…

What have you been tempted to “cling” to in your life?
 

The post what are you clinging to appeared first on Lara Howard.

It’s been a season where I’ve wondered if anything I’m saying is actually affecting his little spirit. It’s been one of those times where I go into his room after he’s asleep and just pray over him, that I would have wisdom to know how to point him to Jesus. And then last night happened.

Bottom line, he cut himself with a knife. No, I didn’t know he had the knife but he was trying to play hero to his little brother by “fixing” a wooden rocketish thing with a pocket knife. He came into the bathroom with the widest, fearful eyes holding out his index finger to me with blood running down his hand.

I asked what happened and he told me about the knife. I tried not to lecture but reminded him that mommy and daddy’s rules are there to keep him safe. He said he now understood. Then I told him I may need to let the doctor look at it to see if he needed stitches. That’s when he got terrified.

“Stitches! No!” he hollered. Then he tried to push me out of the bathroom so he could close the door. “What are you doing, buddy?!” He paused for a minute and then looked up at me with his eyes all watery, “I need to pray.”

Oh my heart. “OK, go ahead.” So I closed the door and listened to his muffled cry to God. And. Let. Me. Tell. You. My heart broke wide open. My boy, in all his fear, did exactly what I’ve prayed he would learn to do in his life. He went to God.

Go to God.

It’s the thing we all need to do. The one thing that matters. The one thing that will give us strength when we’re weak. The one thing that can empower us to take the next step. The one thing that’s needed.

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. ”
Luke 10:41-42

I don’t tell you that story to pat myself on the back. Believe me. For that one story of his good choice I have 43 more of his childish poor choices. So if we’re really weighing my parenting ability based upon the actions of my kids, I’d be failing. (Which is why I’m a firm believer that we as parents shouldn’t define our success as a parent by what our kids do or don’t do. But that’s another post for another day.)

I tell you that story to encourage us towards that one thing. Wherever life has you or me today, whatever the challenges or fears or uncertainties, there’s one necessary thing: Go to Him. Sit at His feet and let Him pour life into us with His Word.

He’s the only One who can truly lift us out of the pit. He’s the only One who can get into our soul and stir up hope in the valley of despair. He’s the only One who can minister to the deep places of our heart. So close the bathroom door and cry out to Him. Soul-healing awaits.

(And yes, my sweet boy had to have three stitches. A rite of passage he’s now very proud of.)

 
Fill me, Lord…

Where do you go and what do you do to cry out to God?
 

The post this. the one needed thing. appeared first on Lara Howard.

He’s got this.

I think I need daily reminding because it’s just too easy to get tangled up in short-sighted emotion. It’s too easy to wonder what the heck God’s doing. It’s too easy to doubt.

So I need it daily. I have to remember that even when it may feel like something is “all wrong,” there’s this God who loves me immeasurably. Not only that, He sees the beginning from the end and He has this way of working every single thing out for our good and His glory. Everything.

..the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:27-28

Nothing trumps His promises. Nothing thwarts His plan. Nothing catches Him looking the other way.

I may say with Habakkuk, “I don’t like this plan!” But He isn’t threatened. He’s patient. And He can take my little outbursts. But then after I get it all out, He calls me (and you) to faith.

Yes, emotions will come. We’ll raise objections to His plans at times. But the hope is that we move from fear to faith. From pride to faith. From hopelessness to faith.

God gave me a not-so-subtle reminder yesterday. “Lara, trust Me.”

 
Fill me, Lord…

What do you do when you don’t like God’s plan?
 

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Fear or pride. Or both.

Ugh. It’s not pretty, people. But just think of all those times those words have come out of your mouth. And then be honest. Peel back the layers and identify the root.

Maybe it was as superficial as “I will never drive a mini-van.” Ahem. Pride. Or “I will never go to Africa as a missionary.” Umm. Fear. And maybe pride.

But we all know what God does about fear or pride when it takes up residence in the heart of His child. He uncovers it. He exposes it. Because fear and pride steal from us.

I think I need to say that again.

Fear and pride steal from us.

He isn’t trying to be mean when He calls us to go somewhere we said we’d never go. Or when He allows us to fall into some sin pit we swore we’d never stumble into. He just loves us. And He has freedom for us. And if fear and pride somehow define a crevice of our heart, then He will graciously break that wide open.

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:6-7

So fill in the blank, “I will never…” And then dig down to the root. He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. And pride comes before a fall.

If fear is driving that “I would never” then let’s simply say, “As You will, Lord. Have Your way. I trust You to be forever faithful and to always cover me in Your love. Your ways are higher and Your plans for me are good.” Fear of man or circumstance has no rightful place in the child of God.

If pride lies behind that “I would never” then let’s say, “Lord, forgive me for acting as if I know what tomorrow holds. Forgive me for believing that I’m too good to fall or too smart to trip. Have Your way Lord. You alone are God and I’m constantly needy for Your great and awesome grace.” He lifts those who bow low.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7

Life may tempt us to breathe out “I will never” statements, but take this as a warning from someone whose “I will nevers” have almost all come true. Fear and/or pride lie at the root. And He will faithfully, lovingly expose.

 
Fill me, Lord…

What are some of your present or past “I will never” statements?
Can you see fear or pride at the root?
 

The post never ever say “never” appeared first on Lara Howard.

I’m not typically a fearful person. God broke a lot of that from me about nine years ago when all the lights went out and I screamed “Jesus!” as loud as I could. But that’s another story. Now, I’m not typically a fearful person. But fear came down heavy on me yesterday.

My kids were with my mom. And she had planned to have them back by 3:30 so she could get to work on time. But it was almost 4:00. And it was sleeting. And she’s not usually late when she has to go to work. And she wasn’t answering her phone. And in seconds, my mind freaked out with fear.

I tried to call my husband to see if he had heard of any wrecks. But he didn’t answer. I tried to call my stepdad to see if he had heard from my mom. But he didn’t answer. And did I mention that I tried to call my mom…four times…but she didn’t answer?

That’s when I thought of Job. And how he lost all his kids at once. And I said to God, “Please. No. Lord. Don’t let me be a Job.” I prayed and stood at the window. And prayed some more. The clock moves slow when fear’s involved.

And then I whispered the bottom line, “Lord. Even if. Even if the worst thing possible has happened. You are still God. You are still good. Nothing catches you off guard. You will only allow into my life what is for my good and your glory. The thoughts take my breath away, but I trust you.”

That’s about when my mom called.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-31

It’s amazing how quick our minds can go from laughing with our sister about the “Boston Butt” sign in the window of the grocery store (I’m twelve) to fearful that our kids and mom have been killed in a wreck.

But when fear comes, there’s only one place to go. To Him.

I’m thankful I didn’t have to walk through that kind of devastation yesterday. But I know that in this life none of us are exempt from suffering. And I also know that some of you are living your deepest fears right now.

I pray that whether our fears are imagined or real-life, we’d take them to Him. I pray we’d wash them over with the truth of His character. Because He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. He’s given us a spirit of power and love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:6-7)

 
Fill me, Lord…

What fears have you wrestled against lately?
What truths can you remember to combat those fears?

 

The post for when fear comes knocking appeared first on Lara Howard.

But He’s been so tender. He’s proven again and again that He remembers my humanity. He doesn’t push His children around demanding we “straighten up and smile.” He knows we can’t see past today. And He’s kind.

Maybe you’ve been there. Or are there. Wanting, but not wanting, what God has for you today. My biggest piece of advice to us in the midst of that heart struggle? One by one, take the feelings to Him.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Psalm 34:8

Feelings aren’t wrong, but they aren’t always reliable. They’re a gauge, not necessarily a map for our tomorrow. So when we struggle to want what God has for us, take those feelings to Him. And then wash them with truths of His character.

He hasn’t forgotten you or me. He has a plan. And His plans are for our good…and for His great glory. They often include the beautiful painful. But His loving kindness never ever runs dry.

 
Fill me, Lord…

Have you ever been there? Wanting but not wanting what God has?
How do you move forward through the difficult?
 

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Maybe it’s because we’re coming off of an election or maybe it’s because I know those trekking their personal journeys of faith-discovery, but it appears that we as Jesus-followers can get “evangelism” twisted.

We hear threats to our faith and become desperate to prove God to those questioning His ways — often crushing the wandering heart in the process. Plus, in the proving we live in fear as we watch the unfolding faith of our loved ones — fear because we can’t control their journey or speed it up.

But I’m certain that’s not Jesus’ intention for us. He has freedom for His followers. He gives rest to the weary and hope to the downcast. He desires to fill us full of Himself so we overflow His love onto those around us…regardless of where they are on their own journey.

Walking with Him doesn’t mean we live without the raw, real, even painful feelings that sometimes come with loving others. It doesn’t mean we don’t intercede. But freedom means we actively trust His wooing. It means we purposefully take feelings to His throne and choose to believe that He is working things out. He is answering prayer.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How have you had to trust God with the faith-journey of others?
 

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