It’s true, y’all. The lies — all the lies — are killing us. Not political lies — though those may physically get us dead. I’m talking about the lies about God and life and humans and love and ‘erthing.

The Wrestling

I’ve been in a wrestling match with the Lord. Or maybe it’s been a wrestling match with myself before the Lord. Or maybe a wrestling match with lies. Whatever. There’s been wrestling going on. Mainly because Carlos Whittaker’s book has me all digging into my past and uncovering lies that steal life from me. The nerve of him. Actually his book is more like an exclamation mark at the end of a looooonnnnng sentence that I’ve been slowly speaking for about two years now. A long, run-on sentence with lots of grammatical errors.

I’m not sure if you were around these parts a couple years ago when I turned 40 and jumped out of an airplane. (You can hear/see more about it here and here and here.) That became known to me, myself, and I as my freedom jump — an ushering in of greater freedom to my soul. But the truth is, since then, I’ve still struggled with some specific chains that have had me bound. I like saying chains rather than idols because it seems more palatable. But let’s be honest.

The Lies

The chains — the lies — that have had me bound can be summed up in two words: man’s approval. And y’all, I’m sick of it. Sick and tired. I can look all the way back to my little girl years and see traces. From such a young age I bought into the lie that says God’s approval isn’t sufficient and man’s approval will satisfy. And those complete lies birthed fear and insecurity that slowly grew to be a part of me — a part of me that I didn’t even know I could be released from. Like another appendage or something. An ugly appendage with fangs and bad breath. But here’s the thing: Man’s approval cannot satisfy and God’s approval cannot be earned!

Man’s approval cannot satisfy.
God’s approval cannot be earned.

In clamoring and fearfully speaking/not speaking so as not to ruffle feathers or cause waves, I’ve been slowly strangled by the lies. I’ve savored the approval of humans more than the love of my Maker, denying His all-sufficiency. I’ve done it nicely. I’ve done it Christian-y. I’ve done it Pharisee-ically. But I’ve done it. And I’m repenting. Because God is too good, too glorious, too beautiful, too satisfying to lose my gaze.

“In Jesus Christ — in a solid, God-chosen relationship with Jesus —
man’s disapproval cannot hurt you.
And man’s approval cannot satisfy you.
To fear the one and crave the other is sheer folly.”
John Piper

The Solution

When we see that our hearts have roots that go deep into the soil of a lie, there’s only one way out: The Lord. We humble ourselves and repent to Him. We cling to Him. We gaze at Him. And we declare our complete insufficiency in ourselves to set ourselves free. We need His Spirit to do an uprooting in our deepest parts. We need because He truly is the One we crave. We need because freedom from a good God awaits.

Once we repent, we have to replace the lie with truth. We reject the lie and then replace it with what God says. We replace it out-loud and every time the lie creeps in.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32

Truth that Destroys the Lie

As I’ve been walking through my own process of greater freedom in the Lord, Carlos’ book prompted me to trace the face of God. To stare at the face of God. To see God for who He is. To see myself through His eyes of grace. And as I prayerfully stared at His sweet face, this is what I saw:

Your face, Lord.
Your eyes are kind and compassionate, not distractedly looking around, rather tenderly and genuinely focused on me, Your child.
Your jaw is strong and powerful, but not tense in anger, just ready to defend.
Your mouth curves in a small smile as you watch me, Your daughter, be me, making the lines around your eyes show — wisdom that defines You to the core.
Your nose breathes in and out — slow and steady — life flowing from and through You alone, giving breath to all there is.
You are so different from me — so other-than — yet I see glimmers of myself in Your face.
You are my daddy, and You aren’t angry with me. You love me kindly and truly.

God isn’t mad at His children. All His wrath was placed on His Son. If we truly believe that Jesus took the punishment on the cross that we as humans deserve, we have the Father’s full approval. Yes, we mess up. Yes, we disobey at times. Yes, we look to things and people to bring the satisfaction He alone can give. But He’s not an impatient father fed up with His ridiculous kids. He’s kind and faithful. And the mercy and grace of the cross is that in Christ God sees us as righteous — a scandalous exchange has occurred.

His kindness doesn’t give us license to walk a foolish life. His kindness leads His children to repentance, to worship, to obedience, to freedom. Because He is life. In Him is fullness of life.

So that’s where I’m at these days. Wrestling. Repenting. Believing. Awed by the mercy of my Maker — my Father — who gathers His children in with compassion and heals with His everlasting love.

Fill me, Lord…

(In true Southern style) how are you doing these days?
Reading any good, life-shifting books?
Being stripped of lies that have had you chained? Maybe it’s just me.

The post the lies are killing us appeared first on Lara Howard.

A dear friend and I met the other night for some much-needed girl time. Because it feels like we blink and 18 days have passed since we’ve sat face-to-face sipping on coffee. What the heck.

But we sat and talked and talked some more and caught up on kids and husbands and the state of our souls. Then we lingered in the parking lot laughing and philosophizing. Sorta philosophizing.

And somehow we got onto the topic of insecurities, specifically the insecurities that women battle regarding outer appearances. Lord God, set Your children free.

I despise insecurity. Because it’s such a liar. It tries to convince us that we don’t quite measure up. And then it gives us an alphabetical list of reasons why we don’t measure up and a color coded list of what we need to change. And in less than four breaths, we’re tangled up in self-loathing or self-criticizing until we can hardly take another step forward.

It’s understandable that so many women in our culture would wrestle against insecurity over outer appearances considering the bombardment of images from every direction. I know I’ve feasted on my fair share of insecurity over the years. But if we as a gender are going to experience the freedom in Christ, then there has to be a purposeful “putting to death” of that comparison plague in our minds. Because it is a plague. And if we’re not purposeful, it will eat us alive.

It all comes back to the whole “taking our thoughts captive to truth” thing. Because what we meditate upon affects our emotions, our responses, our perspective, and our daily victory.

So here’s a plan of action.

1. We ask God to reveal our thoughts. So often we think things that we don’t even know we’re thinking. Yet they affect us deeply. But God alone sees every fold of our heart and every thought we think. So we have to ask Him to open our eyes and grant us insight.

 

2. Replace lies with truth. Once we become aware of comparison in our spirit, we have to combat it with truth. Because if we don’t, it will multiply into more comparison. And more insecurity will try to make itself at home in our minds. So we speak true things — things that God says about us — out-loud. Yes, out-loud. You know I’m big on this.

 

3. Enlist accountability. Sometimes the thoughts come so quickly that we don’t have time to enlist accountability, but in general we need one another. We weren’t meant to run this faith race alone. So when we’re struggling against a thought pattern, it’s helpful to turn to a trusted friend for prayer and words of encouragement.

The truth is that you and I have been crafted and gifted by the God of the universe. We can walk tall, not because we think highly of ourselves, but because we think highly of what God has done in us and what He graciously promises to do through us.

We can walk tall because He is God and we are His.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:15

Can you imagine Jesus ever struggling with insecurity? Peter, how’s my hair today? It’s a ridiculous thought because He was so completely secure in His relationship with the Father. He didn’t need any approval from man. He didn’t need to measure up to some external standard of “beauty”. He was one with the Father, and that was (and forever will be) enough.

True, you and I aren’t Jesus. But if we walk by faith in Him, God says some amazing things about our identity. He affirms our beauty and acceptance in Christ. He declares our royalty as daughters of the King. He — the perfect, holy One — smiles over us because of Jesus in us.

Insecurity lies. It steals. It drags us down into pits that aren’t intended for God’s children. But in Christ there’s freedom — freedom to walk tall in the identity Christ died to give us. Anything less isn’t truly living.
 

Fill me, Lord…

What truths do you use to combat the lies of insecurity?
 

The post an action plan against insecurity appeared first on Lara Howard.

So I looked into the “couch to 5k” program, because I could run about as far as the length of a couch. And slowly but surely, I became a runner. Some days I thought I would die. Literally. But I did it. I ran. I run.

I’m now a runner.

So much in life is like that. We seek God first and continually, He speaks and guides, and then, through His empowering, we put whatever it is into action.

On Monday I wrote about two important choices we get to make everyday (our response to life and how we spend our time). And that post lingered in my spirit. “I get to choose my response. I get to choose my response.”

To be honest, I haven’t liked my heart-response in the last couple of weeks. Life has happened — like it does — and instead of focusing on all the ways God’s blessed or all the things He promises, I’ve focused on what isn’t going like I had hoped. And if there’s ever something to steal the joy of The Lord, it’s a critical, unthankful spirit. So just like my deciding to be a runner, I decided it’s time for a perspective change.

I decided. God decided. We all know Who really instigated that freedom-thought.

True. Sometimes life does sucketh. And we want people to acknowledge that life suckeths. We want to feel validated so we focus on the yuck parts. And talk about the messy. And analyze the injustices until we’ve analyzed the analysis of the injustices. And then we wonder why we feel grumpy and run-down and heavy with burden.

That’s not how I want to do life. And here’s the awesome part. In Christ I get to decide. I get to choose what I think about. I get to choose my perspective. I can choose to think about everything that’s wrong or I can choose to think about all the millions of ways and things that reveal God’s grace and love and beauty.

O Lord, I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.
You have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving
and call on the name of the Lord.
Psalm 116:16-17

Some days it will feel like we’re only running uphill and can’t catch our breath. Those are the days we need to grab someone’s hand and say, “Please! Pull me up this mountain. Speak some hope to me!” But even in the parts that sucketh and seem to be only uphill, we still get choice as to our heart’s meditations.

So I’m counting (as dear Ann talks about <-- loved this post, by the way!). I'm choosing today to count the blessings, one by one. Because this side of Jesus coming back, life will always always always happen. And God will always always always be grace and good.   Fill me, Lord…

Count with me. Look at the most challenging situation in your life and ask God to show you at least 3 hopeful thoughts around/in/regarding to that situation or relationship.
 

The post for when we need our day completely transformed appeared first on Lara Howard.

Fear or pride. Or both.

Ugh. It’s not pretty, people. But just think of all those times those words have come out of your mouth. And then be honest. Peel back the layers and identify the root.

Maybe it was as superficial as “I will never drive a mini-van.” Ahem. Pride. Or “I will never go to Africa as a missionary.” Umm. Fear. And maybe pride.

But we all know what God does about fear or pride when it takes up residence in the heart of His child. He uncovers it. He exposes it. Because fear and pride steal from us.

I think I need to say that again.

Fear and pride steal from us.

He isn’t trying to be mean when He calls us to go somewhere we said we’d never go. Or when He allows us to fall into some sin pit we swore we’d never stumble into. He just loves us. And He has freedom for us. And if fear and pride somehow define a crevice of our heart, then He will graciously break that wide open.

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:6-7

So fill in the blank, “I will never…” And then dig down to the root. He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. And pride comes before a fall.

If fear is driving that “I would never” then let’s simply say, “As You will, Lord. Have Your way. I trust You to be forever faithful and to always cover me in Your love. Your ways are higher and Your plans for me are good.” Fear of man or circumstance has no rightful place in the child of God.

If pride lies behind that “I would never” then let’s say, “Lord, forgive me for acting as if I know what tomorrow holds. Forgive me for believing that I’m too good to fall or too smart to trip. Have Your way Lord. You alone are God and I’m constantly needy for Your great and awesome grace.” He lifts those who bow low.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7

Life may tempt us to breathe out “I will never” statements, but take this as a warning from someone whose “I will nevers” have almost all come true. Fear and/or pride lie at the root. And He will faithfully, lovingly expose.

 
Fill me, Lord…

What are some of your present or past “I will never” statements?
Can you see fear or pride at the root?
 

The post never ever say “never” appeared first on Lara Howard.

But what if we started preaching those things to ourselves about others, specifically about those who can…make us crazy. Imagine if we actually did what Jesus said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-28)

He says to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So, it seems that would mean to love them in our inward being. To love them by thinking good and true things about them, just as we strive to think about ourselves.

It isn’t be easy. In fact, it’s impossible if we haven’t crucified the self-life again today. Again this hour. But true Jesus-love does good to others, even in our heart’s meditations.

I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. That’s true. But so is she. And so is he.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How does this thought challenge you?
 

Book Club

For those joining us in the book club featuring To Walk or Stay, it’s time to start reading chapter 1. (Yay!) Come back here on Thursday to discuss the questions at the end of chapter 1.

The post what if we actually did this appeared first on Lara Howard.

At the root of every addiction, every sin, every emotional stronghold, is a lie. Maybe a few lies. To experience true soul freedom, we have to dig up the root and expose it to God’s Light. Otherwise it will keep on whispering, luring us back into flesh pits.

I’ve believed lots of lies in my life. Believed lies. Coddled lies. Even protected lies. Because the lies feel good for a while. They convince us they know best. They may feed our ego or momentarily cause the inner ache to subside. But chasing after what the lie promises can never bring lasting satisfaction. In the end it only leaves us hungry for more.

Because it’s what the enemy wants — us stuffing ourselves full of things that were never meant to subside the yearning. Us worshipping anything or anyone other than our Maker. The enemy doesn’t care what it is that gets our heart’s devotion, just as long as it isn’t the true Lover of our soul. He’s mean like that.

Satan: There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44
 
Jesus: He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.
1 Peter 2:22

It has me asking God for revelation, because He sees every motive behind every thought behind every action before I take the next step. He knows me perfectly, even when I don’t know myself. And He can reveal the lies that tempt me most.

So grab your shovel. Let’s ask Him to reveal the things that vie for lordship over our hearts. And then let’s dig down to the root and expose any lies to His life-giving truth. It’s then that true freedom can rise.

Examples of lies that have tempted me:
 

Lie: If we had more money, then we’d be secure.
Replace With –>
Truth: God is my secure place. He calls me to seek Him first, not things of this world. (Matthew 6:25-33)
 

Lie: If enough people praise me, then I’m valuable.
Replace With –>
Truth: My Maker cannot stop thinking about me. He embroidered me. I have immeasurable value. (Psalm 139)
 

Lie: Just one more (time, taste, glance) won’t hurt.
Replace With –>
Truth: The road to destruction begins with the small, daily compromises. I’m not my own. I’m His. Bought with a price.
(1 Corinthians 3:16; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Fill me, Lord…

What lies have tempted you recently?
What truths can you use to battle against the lies?

The post only for those who want true soul freedom appeared first on Lara Howard.

You know that thing that brings you to your knees in the most desperate of prayers? Yep, that one. It’s actually the very thing that could become the greatest blessing to your faith.

Because when we have something ahead that seems impossible to overcome, and we dare to believe that God truly does become our strength when we’re weak, we soar.

flickr photo credit

Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for (bind to) the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31

Even though it’s right and uplifting to thank God for the easy, good things, the challenge is to let praise fall from our lips for His promised grace and strength through the hard, good things. (A recent description from a friend, “the hard, good things”)

Because if we’re God’s — named son or daughter because of the blood of Jesus — then everything He allows into our lives He allows in love.

Praying it’s a blessed day of giving thanks, my friend.

 
What are you thanking Him for today?
 

The post a Thanksgiving challenge {and a soaring dog to prove it} appeared first on Lara Howard.

The cloudy noise of life has distracted me recently. It isn’t bad noise in-and-of-itself. It’s just that I’ve let it pull me away from the still, small voice of my Daddy. And He’s convicted me, as only a faithful Father can do, leading me back to that place where I refuse to compromise intimacy with a cloudy counterfeit.

Examples of noise that can distract me:

Fears that tempt me to question the character of God
Technology and the demands that come with it
Saying “yes” apart from His leading
Self-focused comparison, inevitably rooted in pride
Tyranny of the urgent

God’s always moving and speaking, the real question is whether or not we’re listening. The real dilemma is whether or not we’re fully tuned to Him. Not halfway. Halfway won’t work. Halfway won’t usher in His abundance.

He wants all of our heart, not what’s leftover after we’ve given ourselves away to everyone and everything else. And He wants it because He knows that only when we give our whole heart to Him do we find true life. And He patiently, graciously waits. He patiently, graciously woos.

Yet even now,” declares the Lord,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
and rend your hearts and not your garments. ”
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.
Joel 2:12-13

The cure is simple (in theory). We just come to Him, humbly and repentant. We set everything else down and get really real with our Maker. We ask Him to fill us full of Himself and we dig into His sweet Word expecting Him to show up.

Our hearts will probably put up a fight because the cloudy noise tells us a different story. But soul abundance flows when He breaks through the clouds of this world’s distractions.

Fill me, Lord…

How have you struggled with distraction lately?
How do you stay focused in such a noisy world?

Memorizing the Sermon on the Mount:
Remember, we don’t memorize Scripture to check something off of our this-could-make-me-righteous list. It won’t make us righteous. Faith in Jesus makes us righteous. Memorization enables our hearts to meditate upon truth. So wherever you’re at in the journey, keep hiding His Word in your heart, sweet friend.

{Week 36}

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
Matthew 7:9-10

The post for when we feel distracted appeared first on Lara Howard.

I went to a blogging conference last year. Prior to that weekend, I hadn’t met any of my blog peeps in-person. And let me tell you, underneath all the fun and laughs and coffee, I battled a dose of insecurity before and during the conference. (Masked well in the Smilebooth.)

(Stacey Thacker, Katie Orr, and me.)

Thinking on that wrestling I did with insecurity honestly makes me mad — at myself, at satan, at…whoever else I can point the finger. Because Jesus didn’t die so that we would live a doubtful, self-focused existence.

He came and died and defeated sin so that we would find all security in Him. He places His Spirit within us so that we would walk these short days bold and sure, regardless of what we own and regardless of what others think.

Ugh. Insecurity. I picture a wolf disguised as a frail, little old lady. It seems meek and inoffensive at first glance, but in actuality it destroys us from the inside out. Therefore it must die.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you…
Colossians 3:5

I’m going to that same conference again this week. Woo to the hoo, Allume girls! But I definitely don’t want to waste time with insecurity while I’m there. So here are a few things I’m choosing to remember.

God’s got awesome, eternal things on today’s agenda.

Wherever today takes you or me, He goes before us. And He’s always working. Whether at a conference or in the grocery store, He has eternal things set aside for you and I to do. He has carved divine appointments into today. We just have to follow His lead — eyes on Him instead of consumed with us — and confidently walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

Your Daddy is King. That’s royalty.

In Christ, we’re daughters of the King. We have a royal inheritance. Our Daddy rules. Hang out with those thoughts for a while and insecurity has to bow.

Nearly every other woman in the room battles insecurity on some level.

We’re not alone. That “perfect” woman who always seems to say the “perfect” witty thing at the “perfect” moment, more often than not struggles with insecurity. And remembering that encourages me. (Maybe because misery loves company.) Instead of comparing, let’s pray for our sisters.

Girlfriend, you have some cuteness goin’ on.

I know this seems so superficial, but ladies, there’s something woven deep in the fabric of a woman that wants to be named “beautiful.” And I honestly believe that each of us are beauty. Not only internally because of Him, but externally because God designed us. And He does amazing things. Granted I struggle to believe it at times, because my eyes fall down to this planet and I’m tempted to compare myself. But I’m just sayin’, you have some cuteness, girlfriend.

 
God made each of us unique. And He did so on purpose. We’ll bring the greatest blessing upon ourselves, and pour out the greatest blessing on each other, when we stop comparing and start living confident in what He says about us.

 
Fill me, Lord…

How have you battled with insecurity?
What lies have you believed?
What truths can you meditate upon to “put to death” that insecurity?
 

The post crushing the insecurity that plagues appeared first on Lara Howard.

With God there’s always hope. Because He’s God. Nothing down here can steal His power or negate His character. He will forever be the God who does the impossible — which always hinders my pity parties.

We can’t believe God to be who He’s revealed Himself to be and stay down in the pit too long. We can’t believe that He does (and will do) wildly redemptive things while also wallowing in the blech of life. You have experienced blech, right?

Though it will be a battle. Each day we have to diligently, purposefully think on what’s true and lovely and noble and good. Because what’s heartbreaking and earth shattering and life changing wants to take charge of our heart meditations, like a two-year-old throwing a temper-tantrum.

But in Christ we have choice as to what we meditate upon.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8

I know I go back here often, but our moment-by-moment meditations affect everything. They affect our mood and our response. They affect what our face does and where our feet go. They affect whether or not we experience hope.

It’s easy to follow behind all the wrongs done to us and think on revenge. Or to hear statistics and think on impossibility. That comes naturally.

But Jesus died for more.

He died and rose to free us — to give us choice. The Father sent His very own Spirit to indwell us so that we don’t have to lay down under what seems like a hopeless scenario. In whatever mess comes today, we still have the choice to think on true things.

 
Fill me, Lord…

What are you choosing to meditate upon today…regardless?

For those memorizing the Sermon on the Mount with me, this is breather week. Woo to the hoo. Praying it’s productive, sweet friends.

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