Marriage is hard. In fact, God has used the contexts of marriage and motherhood to continually crucify my selfishness. The struggles and seasons of affliction have drawn me near and caused me to bear fruit that I would have never experienced apart from the difficult times — kinda like Joseph bearing fruit even in his excruciating affliction. God designed marriage with purpose. He designed it to both reflect His glory and to make us more holy.
Even when it may not turn out like we had planned or hoped.
Because God designed marriage to reflect Him, we might as well expect that the enemy will attack our marriages. If we call ourselves Christians then the enemy will aim fiery darts at our homes. And the darts hurt. Sometimes they’re excruciating.
So when we find ourselves in those hard, hurtful places in our marriages, here’s a simple prayer that can help us, regardless of the circumstances.
“Lord, begin in me.”
We cannot change another soul. We cannot say enough or do enough or want enough to bring lasting change to any earthly relationship. What we can do is humble ourselves before our Maker and ask Him to begin in us. To change us to love Him more. To move in us that we might be a bold and glorious representation of His love. To stir in us a freedom to forgive and bless, even when we’re hurting.
Wherever we find ourselves today — no matter the season or climate in our homes — God remains present and faithful. He’s the One to turn to for hope. He’s the One to turn to for life. He’s the One and only One who can bring lasting change…beginning in the walls of our own hearts.
Fill me, Lord…
If you’re in a difficult marriage, what prayer do you most often pray for your home?
Bonni Greiner says
Great prayer! Love how transparent you are! And…by your pictures, you two haven’t aged a day!
Lara Gibson Williams says
Thanks, Bonni. And believe me, pictures deceive. Ha.
Melissa Deming says
lovely! Congratulations!
Markeitha Christian says
Awww Happy Anniversary!! Beautiful truth! We are right behind you with 9 years coming up on June 28th:-) You two are a beautiful couple and yes you still look the same as 10 years ago, both of you:-)
Lara Gibson Williams says
As I said above, pictures can be deceptive. Ha. But thanks. 🙂
Emily says
Amazing. Simply amazing. Touches my heart & brings tears to my eyes. Love you both. So privileged to walk beside you.
Lara Gibson Williams says
You and your hubby are a precious gift to us. We love you both so much!
kimber1981 says
Happy 10th Anniversary! Thank you for sharing this!
Kim Lenon says
Congratulations! And so true, we will celebrate 35 years in November and we can truly say by God’s grace.
This Glorious Day says
Wonderful post, and familiar in my life as well. Thank you for sharing – it’s nice to hear that others have shared similar struggles, yet made it through shining in God’s glory!
Tina says
Dear Lara,
As I’ve shared with you before, my 31 year marriage has weathered deep valleys and dark storms. It has truly been the grace of God that we are still together. Yes, we both have willfully made a choice to keep at it. But even that is by God’s grace. I can’t pat myself on the back for “doing what’s right,” because God put in me the power to do the right thing. And that goes for my husband too.
I think it is important to be transparent to other believers. I used to believe that most of the Christian couples I knew had idealistic marriages. Just recently, another couple were visiting with us, and we opened up about our courtship and marriage and some of the difficulties we have gone through. This other couple related to us…they’d been through much of the same things! Why do I think that every marriage I see in our church body is perfect, except for mine? I hid my problems from my Christian friends, I put on my mask when I went to church.
My prayer has been,”Lord, help me love him the way you love him. Show him to me through your eyes.”
And once,”Lord, I can’t do this anymore! I’ve tried everything! If you want this marriage to continue, then you will have to make it happen. If it is up to me, I’m outta here!”
There is still room for improvement. I think there will always be room for us to grow closer. But I am so glad I didn’t run away. I thank my God, my Daddy, for my husband.
Tina
Nikki says
Oh, girl. I love it. gonna share it.
congratulations!
thank you for fighting fierce for what God joined together intentionally.
Our Family for His Glory says
Lara, I feel like the words you spoke echo my very heart, as my husband and I will celebrate our tenth anniversary next weekend. It’s so true. There have been times when we did not like each other at all, but God has made a way for us to smile together. God is good!
Blessings, and I hope you have a wonderful anniversary!
Jessica
Shuquin Foster says
I dont cause I have fallen away from God. Oh how the enemy is attacking my marriage I am tired just dont know what to do……prayer drops in my spirit, but I dont pray.
Lara Gibson Williams says
Shuquin, I am praying for you right now. I pray that He would bring someone that could stand with you for your marriage — someone to pray with you and believe with you. I pray that you would desire to fight for your marriage. The enemy may have won some battles but today is a new day. You are not alone. And as long as God is, there is hope.
Joyce Moy says
Happy anniversary!
Christine- Fruit in Season says
Thank you for sharing this beauty-for-ashes story and celebration. And the prayer is really perfect, so true. Happy Anniversary!!!
Jack says
We have been married for 9 years, now we are on edge of to be separated . Hope your pray works!