It’s been exactly 10 years — 3,650ish days — since my man and I said, “I do.”
Our wedding day, June 1st, 2002.
(We look so young.)
But let me just tell you, it’s only God’s grace that got us through some of the darkest valleys. God’s grace and that stash of chocolate I keep hidden in the pantry. Ha.
Seriously, my man and I haven’t always liked each other. In fact, there have been times in our marriage when we hated each other. Lovely, isn’t it? But God. He’s the only reason we’ve lasted. He’s the only reason we now smile together.
Photo by Stacey Van Berkel
(Don’t we look oh-so-cute? You would never know that our kids were whining on the sidelines. And that in-between shots we contorted our faces to mouth things like, “Stop whining,” and “Leave your sister alone.”)
Marriage is hard. In fact, God has used the contexts of marriage and motherhood to absolutely crucify my selfishness. But He designed marriage on purpose. He designed it to picture His love. Which is exactly why the enemy attacks marriage with fierce nastiness.
We might as well just expect it. If we call ourselves Christians then the enemy will aim fiery darts at our homes. And they hurt. Well, they hurt and they numb us to the tender love God designed. Until we just live under the same roof being semi-cordial because “it’s the right thing to do.” Or until we run away.
But God crafted it to be a passionate turning towards. A passionate turning towards. He created husbands and wives to turn towards one another with their bodies and souls.
Yet we grow numb. So here’s a simple prayer. If you find yourself in that place where you really don’t care anymore. If you wear the ring “because it’s right” but your heart is far away. If your home is crumbling before your eyes, pray these words.
“Lord, make us to want one another, beginning in me.”
True love moves out of choice and will. And will is a great place to start. But He designed us to desire. And I’m certain that it honors Him when His children — the ones who covenanted together — want one another. A passionate turning towards.
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Song of Solomon 8:6
Today my man and I celebrate a decade together. And I mean celebrate. Because it could have — statistically should have — gone in a completely opposite direction. But by His grace He restored.
{I love you, babe.}
Fill me, Lord…
How do you keep the fires of your marriage burning?
If you’re in a difficult marriage, what prayer do you most often pray for your home?
