I would sit at my desk, alone in my room, and pull out an empty composition book. The blank pages seemed rich with endless possibility. So with a pencil in my 10-year-old hand, I would wait for inspiration.
Sometimes a sentence would come, sometimes three. But I never made it past the first paragraph. I inevitably closed that black and white journal with slight pre-teen indignation, “How could anyone write a whole book? I would never have enough to say.”
flickr photo credit: brendan debrincat
I was a math girl. English class frustrated me. Diagramming sentences bored me. And research made my eyes cross. But something in me wanted to write. Something in me longed to overflow with words.
My God had planted seeds of calling.
I think He does that with His children. He formed us. He designed us. And before we lived out any of our days on this planet, He knew the purposes for which He created us (Jeremiah 1:4-5). He then tenderly leads us into that call, gifting us accordingly.
As we delight in Him — “fanning the flame” and remaining sensitive to His lead — He places His will upon our hearts (Psalms 37:4). And when He calls us to do anything, He equips us for the task.
True, I was a math girl. But He awoke something in me a number of years ago. He watered that seed of calling and a writer started to bloom, prayerfully to His great glory.
Fill me, Lord…
What “seeds of calling” can you identify by looking back over your own life? (Don’t be embarrassed. You didn’t choose them. He graced them upon you for His great glory.)
If you aren’t able to identify any “seeds,” I pray you don’t fall into the trap of self-condemnation. That is not of Him. He loves you and has plans for you. And that phrase “seeds of calling” is not in the Bible. Trust Him with your life’s unfolding.
For me I loved English and math was a foreign language which I had no desire to understand. As a child I was a compulsive liar and my mom would say to me “Some day you will make a great story teller.” I wrote my first poem in 7th grade for an English assignment and discovered words came to me easily. During my high school years and beyond I used poetry as a way to vent. As I grew I drifted away from writing poetry and wrote a couple of children’s stories because like you there is no novel in me. I than took up blogging to share with other homeschoolers resources and more. Currently I write two blogs and am the Baton Rouge Homeschool examiner on Examiner.com and have recently been accepted to write monthly for a homeschool site, Heart of the Matter. This was not suppose to be so long, lol.
Thanks for sharing, Joyce. That’s funny what your mom said. Glad you made a turn. 😉 Life is so much more fulfilling when we walk in the things He has created for us to do. Blessings.
I am so thankful to have found your blog. I think I read this the day you posted, it has just lingered. I don’t usually comment (a lurker, I guess) … I have had 3 things in my life that just hang on to me…perhaps seeds? I am just like you were… I long to write, but I am no good at it…over 8 years ago, I heard a 10 spot on the radio about being a refresher of people (I even printed out the manuscript(?) and still have it tucked in my bible) … And somehow I have felt that I was to be a prayer warrior – I am currently (and have been) going through a – I don’t know what exactly to call it- maybe a dark period … A separated period… I am struggling with sorrow and the feeling like prayers bounce off the ceiling… Anyhow, the reason I have impugned… I felt I needed to tell you that you have encouraged me… That you have relit a fire to seek … To take another step closer to him. I don’t know where it will take me. But I hope it will take me closer – to Him
Unlurked. Not impugned .
Ha. Don’t you love auto-correct. 🙂
And wow. God is amazing how He connects people through cyber-world. I trust that He will faithfully guide you as you seek after Him, Elizabeth. He promised. He will. Blessings to you. And I hope you “unlurk” again sometime. 🙂