I’ve convinced myself at various times in our marriage that I committed the biggest mistake of my life when the words “I do” came out of my mouth. And, believe me, my man has thought the same. I never really voiced it, but I quietly held onto the mindset. Especially when we crawled through the rough parts.
Like when our marriage exploded. Yep. Exploded. But in that deep valley, God revealed my selfish way of thinking. He broke me in order to transform me. He broke me that I would gain a more honorable perspective on this marriage-love-thing, ultimately gaining a clearer perspective of Him.
flickr photo credit: nina matthews
If God is sovereign — which He is — and nothing happens outside of His control — which it doesn’t (Matthew 10:29) — then as His child, even the person I marry ultimately comes through His hands of love. That’s easy to embrace when our beloved loves with beauty and grace. But when they don’t — or can’t — choosing to believe His ordaining stirs up hope when everything else says “hopeless”.
I’m not naive. I know that marriages crumble on a daily basis, even among Christ-followers. I know. I see it. I hear it. A few short years ago, we were almost a statistic ourselves. But what if we chose to lift our hands to God and say, “OK! I don’t know how You will maneuver around my heart, but as much as depends upon me, love him through me. Just love through me.”
What if.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8
Marriage isn’t easy. It’s challenging and sacrificial. In fact, it’s flat out Jesuslike — denying self and loving regardless. But I’m convinced that when we said “I do,” He had purpose, even for the valleys.
Choosing love in spite of the other means we choose His blessing. We choose it. We can choose it. Not necessarily because the other deserves it, but because we glorify God when love prevails.
Love will prevail.
Fill me, Lord…
How has God proved Himself mighty in your own marriage?
How does believing God’s ordaining inspire you?
This post is dedicated to my man, in love, as we celebrated three years of our recommitment this week. I praise our God who continues to work wonders in our home.
Thank you for the challenge to love no matter what.
Congratulations on 3 years! May God bless you with 70 more!
Love you, friend. You are a huge blessing.
My husband and I are very different in so many ways. From family upbringing to personality. So it has caused me to think at times “How did we think this would work?” But we continue to push through and fight for what we committed to 10+ years ago. It’s amazing to see how far the Lord has brought us together in spite of our differences and even appreciate those differences! I am so thankful for him and the marriage we have built together and keep pressing through. Congratulations on 3 years of recommitment! I appreciate your honest today.
My husband and I are very different in so many ways. From family upbringing to personality. So it has caused me to think at times “How did we think this would work?” But we continue to push through and fight for what we committed to 10+ years ago. It’s amazing to see how far the Lord has brought us together in spite of our differences and even appreciate those differences! I am so thankful for him and the marriage we have built together and keep pressing through. Congratulations on 3 years of recommitment! I appreciate your honest today.
Thanks, friend. Yes, I know what you mean. God has a sense of humor how He places us with someone so different yet knits us together to become something beautiful. Amazing. Love to you.
“We glorify God when love prevails”… thank you for the reminder. It’s never about me. I want everything I do to show his scandalous grace over my life!
I’m thrilled for your testimony and commitment to each other. What a wonderful thing to celebrate.
Thank you, sister. You know I am continually praying for you. Xoxo
Thank you for this encouraging post! And for the challenge it brings!
Love this, Lara. Praise God for new commitments and fresh beginnings. Wise words you have, indeed!!
Amen! Great post!
Amen. CJ and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage this month. I can say “Amen” to everything you said.
Congratulations, Johanna. That is something to celebrate.
There is such power here, Lara. I see it in you, the Lord working His wonders and miracles. I see it in my own marriage, when I am unlovable and somehow God uses me…when my husband hurts me and I push and struggle to love anyway. Not perfect, never perfect, yet still able to reflect the One who IS perfect. Amazing. This post strikes deep in my heart today, my friend. Thank you.
You know I appreciate you, sweet friend. Yes, never perfect but He is so gracious in spite of us. Always working love. Blessings, sister.
A church that a guy from my home church planted near us is doing a series called Real Marriage (the book is controversial in some circles, the series is not:) Anywho, if anyone wants to listen the link below is to the audio, and there is video to the right. It is EXCELLENT. This week will focus on women. Last week focused on men. I am also linking to the poster of the pledge they had the men take at the end…and then the husbands prayed over their wives and served them communion. It was awesome.
http://www.riverchurchlive.com/audio/
http://cdn.pastormark.tv/files/2012/01/16/Vow_poster.pdf
Thanks for sharing this, Jenn. I hope to spend some time listening to it. You are a blessing.
SO full of beautiful Truth! I wrote this week on this very topic, it is so very dear to my heart! It is in the pouring out, the giving of ourselves to God that we become Whole enough to truly Love! Thank you for your words!
Wonderful words to describe the “for better or for worse” part of
almost everyone’s marriage vows. Thank you for sharing.
Just beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your heart!
Celebrating with you, Lara! Thank you for your sharing your heart so beautifully with so many. You are so gifted and wise in the way you share it– vulnerable, yet not inappropriate, authentic, God-centered, humble… It is truly a blessing! Love to you and Adam~
Oh such rich beauty and truth here, Lara. Congratulations on recommitting to the promises you made. God will be faithful as you two grow in age and wisdom and understanding together! 😉
I needed this post. Right this minute almost. This marriage thing is tough. God did give me a vision of how He sees my husband. I am trying to see him that way as well.
Lara, I wanted to express my gratitude for your blog and for always speaking the Truth. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share the gritty aspects of being a fallible human trying to walk with Christ in this difficult world. Your words always inspire and challenge me, and I know that they are God-breathed by the way everything applies to my life even though I was never called to be a wife or mother. That your writing crosses such sociological boundaries tells me that the Lord is using you for His great purposes. I’m so thankful that you are willing to share His thoughts and teachings with the rest of us. Thank you for continuing to seek His face and remain in the trenches with us.
Thank you for this post. Marriage is hard work, and I’m trying to let God’s Word be my guide. I’m not perfect, but I keep praying that each day He will continue to forgive me for my weaknesses.
Hi, found your post on facebook. Thank you for posting this! Great thoughts and proof about marriage’s ups and downs. 🙂
thanks for your honest thoughts on marriage. we are in year #6 and choose to do the hard work that it takes to have a loving marriage. we are taking a Love and Respect class at our church and my hope is that I am changed into a woman who chooses to respect my man, even when i may disagree. not an easy choice, but a wise one…so i am told.
I turned 40 the day you posted this and it was a rough Friday for me. It’s so easy to have expectations of our beloved, and to focus on ourselves and thus end up throwing “pity parties” (I’m good at that). I was encouraged by your words. It is about His love and not our own. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Thank you for sharing from your heart and building up other women in their struggle to be Godly wives. I too have 3 little ones and a physician husband and this winter is stretching so long! It’s so important to focus on the blessings in our lives. God bless you as you continue your online ministry 😉
Laurina, thank you for that. You are so right. It is easy to have expectations on those we love. Praying we find the freedom that comes with the release — ultimately trusting our Father to be in complete control. Blessings!
Hey Lara,
I just stumbled upon your blog and it’s beautiful, I love your honest, dig deep heart that comes through your words!
I am currently in a deep healing process. Learning that God loves me so much He’s the only one that can heal my heart. Recently, my husband confessed a past sin in his life of pornography… there I SAID IT! Such a yucky word. I have learned more about Jesus’ way of forgiveness in the last month than ever before!
Praise God for honest, true community! -Blessings towards you girl, Amy from fullherlife.blogspot.com
Amy, thanks for commenting. I am sorry to hear of your valley but I am confident that God is stretching and growing you through it. He is so faithful. Praying for continued healing and restoration in your marriage. Blessings, sister.