I’ve mentioned before how my man and I walked through a deep, deep marital valley. Amazingly, God continues to work redemption into our home. We’re proof that our Lord still does the seeming impossible. (Believe!)
Walking through that deep place changed me in more ways than I can count. God began with the crevices of my heart, crushing the idols that I had carved out of created things. But He didn’t stop there.
I’ll tell you, I have a slight clothing fetish. I like cute clothes. I like funky shoes. I like creative jewelry, especially the ring that my man lovingly describes as, “It looks like your glue gun and beads exploded”. For me, clothes (and glue-gun-explosion rings) reveal a bit of who I am and how I feel.
flickr photo credit: andrea rinaldi
But let’s be honest, fashion often leans towards the provocative.
In recent years, especially after walking that dark place with my man, I’ve become sensitive to the aspect of modesty. I now see men differently than before our valley. I now understand that every man is a son or husband or future-husband, and I don’t want to be one who tempts him towards lust. I want to help him win the war.
My husband and I talk openly about a man’s struggle with lust. How it’s a daily, hourly battle that they either fight by faith or fall victim to. In fact, I would dare say that the vast majority of men who sit near us on the pews each Sunday struggle, or have struggled, with lust to some extent. And we as Christian sisters can help.
Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.
Romans 14:13
Granted each man makes his own thought-life choices. And we are not solely responsible for anyone’s fall into lust. But being thoughtful about what we wear, so that we don’t contribute to the battle, shows love to our brothers in a practical way. Practical love.
I don’t perfectly choose. At times I wear things in the name of fashion that cross my own personal modesty line. But praise God, there’s grace. And praise Him that today is a new day — one in which we can choose well.
Fill me, Lord…
How have you personally wrestled with the topic of modesty? (Let’s take careful heed not to judge one another on this sensitive issue. We are all in process.)
So true, having been a counselor for some years and listening to deep struggles from men and even women who struggle w/ lusting either for other women or for men. It really made me think about how I dress, bending over etc…not just for the men but also for women b/c I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what my sister or brother beside me has, raging war within them.
I love that last thing you said, “I have absolutely no idea what my sister or brother beside me has raging within them.” And thank you for mentioning women as well. You are right. We don’t focus on that as much but absolutely, we all have wars waging. Blessings!
Thank you for this gentle reminder, Lara. I too love fashion and have had to carefully consider how I dress as not to provoke or be inaprpriate. There is a delicate balance between looking apealing to your spouse and then crossing the line. Praying for God’s wisdom for us as we seek the happy balance of modesty, while we freely embrace our femininity. 😉
I love the prayer in your last line, “Wisdom as we seek the balance of modesty and embracing our femininity.” So good. Blessings to you, sweet friend.
I think it’s important to remember that we are guided by the Spirit when we look in the mirror. I even think God gives guidance to non-believers in some way. That battle within us that says, “maybe I shouldn’t wear this…but it does look pretty good on me.” It’s a battle of trying to find our worth, and trying to fit in or measure up to the next person. But I think if we will listen to the voice of the Spirit and not follow the ways of our fleshly heart, we will find much blessing there, and bless others in the process (our men, our children, and even a stranger). Great post, Lara!
Thank you, Emily. It’s such a constant choice — listening to His Spirit vs. our flesh. Praying we have ears to hear and the boldness to follow. Much love.