I tucked them into bed last night as usual. The youngest stalled with about 43 questions — which honestly had me internally, severely irritated. But he finally laid there quiet enough for me to pray with him. At which time I confessed my bad attitude.
Then out of nowhere the thought hit me like a ton of bricks. The thought that causes a mama’s heart to nearly stop beating. The thought of them growing up and living in this fallen world full of inevitable suffering.
I stroked his hair as the thought drifted, but my throat had that lump in it that makes it impossible to speak. That fierce mother-love twisted all up in me.
We want good things for our kids. We want them to experience blessing. We want others to treat them kindly. We want them to make a difference. We want them to smile. We want good. But…what is good? Really.
Is “good” when we walk the path of ease?
Or have a life filled with material wealth?
Or live free from pain, betrayal, or rejection?
If so, then we can’t categorize Jesus’ existence on this earth as “good.”
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
This is the One we follow. And if my kids follow after this One that they’ve so innocently named as Lord of their lives, then the path won’t be easy. Trials and sufferings will try, prove, and refine their faith. (James 1:2-4)
But when I think back over my life, the times that I would label as the greatest “good” are the times when I’ve walked most intimately with God. And the times when I’ve walked most intimately with God are the times when circumstance stripped everything else away.
My prayers for them have changed over the years. Granted I want them healthy. I want them loved. I want them to enjoy this gift of life. And I still ask Him for those things. But more than any other desire, I desperately long for them to walk intimately with their Maker…even if it means they must tread the valleys to get there.
He loves them more than I do. They’re His. So I want to trust Him to faithfully draw them to Himself in His perfect time and by His matchless ways.
(Now remind me of that when they’re teenagers trying to “find themselves.” OK?!)
Fill me, Lord…
How do you define “good”?
What is your greatest desire for yourself or for your kids?