I posted this picture on Instagram the other day with the caption “Barbie could take ’em all down,” and a friend said something like, “Your bathtub’s so clean!” And I was like, “It’s called filter magic,” because…I see my bathtub in real life and it’s not clean. In fact that particular night, sand and uck lined the tub from my dirt-cleansed boys.
That friend was joking when she said that about the tub but it reminded me again. Comparing our true, imperfect, often-weak selves to what appears to be perfection in others will only steal our joy.
We have to approach social media with caution in our spirit. Because all of those Pinterest pictures or Facebook statuses or Instagram images or blog posts that seem to come from perfect moms with perfect kids and perfect schedules in perfect houses, are just moments in time captured with filters.
From the other side of the screen we can’t see the kid having a tempter tantrum or smell the stinky dog or feel the hurt that person desperately wants to escape. All we see are moments, with filters.
I still love Instagram, but I don’t scroll through images while being deceived. I know that you’re just like me — messy and needy of grace. I know you’re just like me — some days teetering between sanity and hormonally induced madness. I know you’re just like me.
Let’s approach the online world today with caution in our spirit, gaining our identity from the One who calls us His own. The One who calls us beautiful. The One who’s molding us to look exactly as He intends.
Fill me, Lord…
How have you struggled with comparison and the online world?
We are all messy and needy of grace – you are so right about that. Love your open heart and beautiful words – that are hinted with truth and authenticity!
Much love to you too, sister-friend.
Such a great post, as per usual! I had this same chat with my SIL about a mom at Chick Fil A that seemingly “had it all together” and made my SIL feel a little less-than on the inside. Ten to one, her little boys got ketchup all over her brand new shirt that day or maybe she raises her voice behind closed doors. Who knows? We have to have grace when the enemy makes us see others as perfect when we all sin! Good word today, Williams!
Oh I see those perfect moms everywhere. And I bet you’re right, ketchup and yelling. We’re all a mess without Jesus. All needy for grace. (And can I tell you how much I like it that you called me “Williams”?! Back at’cha Elkins.)
So, so, true! But what about pics with spoons full of PB and choc chips? Now THAT’s beautiful!
Yes. And no filter is needed for such perfection.
Absolutely. I find myself thinking – Look at all the fun things people are doing. Why didn’t anyone call me? What is wrong with me?
And funny thing is, I was having a perfectly great day (ok, great might be a bit over the top) before I saw all of that. But then I know (in my head) that they are just as frazzled and over committed and struggling with kids, jobs and husbands, trying to find balance, just as much as I am. But my heart still hurts, just a tiny bit.
Ha. “I was having a perfectly great day.” Isn’t that the truth. Things can be just fine until we look around and…uh…covet? But yes, we all wrestle to find that abundant life Christ promises.
It fills me with jealousy. Jealous that I wasn’t included…jealous that my body doesn’t look that way…jealous that their house is so nice & tidy…jealous that they can partake in adult beverages & I can’t & shouldn’t…jealous, jealous, jealous. I am working on this very thing at this very moment in my life. Thank you for bringing it up & out!
Oh girl, it can be so tempting to compare. So. Tempting. Praying that our God meets with you really personally on this. Because He thinks you are amazing. And so do the people who know you — you this brave, beautiful, funny, real woman. xoxo
Such truth!!! I just wrote on how I (finally!) got out of the “comparison trap” that social media had me in. I was even ashamed to write about it because I was turning into a person I did NOT want to be…. Thank you for this post, for your transparency, and honesty.
Blessings,
Melanie
http://www.onlyabreath.com/2013/04/the-key-to-unlocking-the-comparison-trap-addiction/
Thanks for sharing, Melanie. 🙂 It’s freeing to be transparent, isn’t it. Mainly because we’re all the same. All struggling with similar things. Blessings!
For me sometimes I feel like I always (that words gets me every time) have to be the first one to start a get together, to call someone, Boy there is the “that feeling a little needy” and probably whiny, why do I feel like I start it all. The am I really a worthy person.
Like we don’t want to smother others. I can understand that. I think it’s a balance. We can’t depend on others to be our life-source or our place of identity; yet at the same time God never intended for us to do life alone. Which I guess puts us back to square one — where He seems to always take me. Daily dependence on Him to do what He leads us to do, even if it means initiating relationship again and again. Thanks for sharing, Margie.
I think I agree with Caroline. It fills me with jealousy. Jealousy because my body doesn’t look like that or because my house isn’t that organized and clean. Jealousy because I have to work 9 hours a day instead of being a stay at home mom. Which then leads me to second guessing what I’m doing and if I’m doing what the Lord wants me to do.
Heather, I know the struggle well. That whole body image thing alone can strangle our confidence in who God says we are. And I have friends who have to work full-time and also be a mom, and I totally commend you. I know that is such a challenge. Such a balancing act. And sometimes completely unavoidable. Trusting that God will faithfully sustain and guide you.
Comparison is horrible, but such an easy thing to fall into (for everyone I think). The things we share online are only tiny snippets of our actual lives. And sometimes what we choose to share (or not share) can lead others to believe our lives are completely different than how they actually are in reality. I think its important to be sincere and honest in our online lives, and to remember that no one is perfect. Even if the grass appears greener on the other side of the screen, we need to be thankful for what God has provided for OUR lives. And that is definitely something I struggle with. Thanks for this important reminder Lara!
I heard someone say this weekend, “The grass may look greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed.” And I’ll add, it still has weeds that need killin’. Blessings to you in this day, Sarah.
This is an awesome post. Thank you. Definitely hits home!
Thanks, Kara. It’s a battle for all of us.
This post so made me giggle…I love your comment about “some days teetering between sanity and hormonally induced madness” – hehe – that’s me for sure. Great read, as always. I’m a huge fan. Have a happy weekend, Georgia 🙂
Yay. Glad to know I’m not the only one who teeters. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement, Georgia. Praying we stay on the sane side today. Ha.
every.day. i struggle with comparisons and envy and fear…. on the way to inrl just today, i told amy what i thought people would dislike about me….
I hate what comparison does to us, Kendal. God has been so faithful to free me from much of it (because it used to consume me). But I absolutely have to stay on guard, because the enemy loves to whisper lies. And for the record, I really liked talking with you on Saturday. 🙂 And your blog post about knitting, loved it. God has gifted you, my friend.