I find myself here many nights after I’ve tucked that last one into bed. On my face with crumbs sticking to my forehead, declaring my insufficiency. Mommy-guilt plagues as if it’s welcome in my heart. I breathe out those moments of overreaction and breathe in his rest.
He gives rest to the weary.
I’m tempted to judge my success as a parent by how my kids behave. When I’ve said, “Use love words” for the 162nd time that day, it starts to drain me. I start to question.
Oh, unless he pierces their hearts.
Then he clarifies so faithfully, reminding that my job is not to fix them or control them. My job is to teach them. My call is simply to plant the seeds, over and over and over…and over again. Trusting him to water and believing him to eventually bring forth the harvest.
Exhale. Inhale.
How do people do this without Jesus? I ponder as his love washes me afresh. His grace that forgives and mercy that pours out new each day. And little faces with morning smiles that believe I would move mountains for them if they asked. And I would.
He strengthens and mends. He will cause those seeds of truth to burst forth with new life. He will. So I’ll keep plantin’.
Fill me, Lord…
How do you battle mommy-guilt? (Or daddy-guilt for those eight guys that read my blog.)
At first, sometimes, I just go in the bathroom (this is the only place of privacy in our house) and cry. I pray for forgivness and try to do better. We all needed this post though. Its so good to know that only God can prick their hearts. Takes so much faith though. More than what I have some days. So I will keep reading, keep praying, keep hoping, keep listening for Gods voice. Love this post! So needed it!
I use the bathroom as my escape too. Aww. Kindred-bathroom-hiding-mama-spirits. Sometimes it’s the only place where I can hear myself pray. Keep on, friend.
At first, sometimes, I just go in the bathroom (this is the only place of privacy in our house) and cry. I pray for forgivness and try to do better. We all needed this post though. Its so good to know that only God can prick their hearts. Takes so much faith though. More than what I have some days. So I will keep reading, keep praying, keep hoping, keep listening for Gods voice. Love this post! So needed it!
At first, sometimes, I just go in the bathroom (this is the only place of privacy in our house) and cry. I pray for forgivness and try to do better. We all needed this post though. Its so good to know that only God can prick their hearts. Takes so much faith though. More than what I have some days. So I will keep reading, keep praying, keep hoping, keep listening for Gods voice. Love this post! So needed it!
I’m trying to let go of should……and all that mommy guilt, too.
Love this Lara!
Oh girl…you do love to make me think first thing in the morning!!! I need to just keep breathing…inhale, exhale…so true. Trying to live it out when Jesus says to me, “Peace wash over you” and let all the other stuff just melt away.
Love you!!!
It sounds like I battle mommy-guilt the same way you do, on my face, breathing in the grace of God. I have to keep reminding myself that each day is a new day and that God’s grace is sufficient for my children even when I keep screwing up. Thank you for the reminder that it’s not my job to control my children. And I’ve pondered the same thing, how do they do it without Jesus??
Well, I am not a mommy, but I hope to be one one day. I think that a lot of Christians ask that question: How do people do life without Jesus? I know I ask myself that question a lot. Sometimes there are just some days and weeks and months where I can’t make it without Jesus.
Well, Tay, I’m glad you commented–even though you aren’t a mama yet. And I agree. In fact I’ve been there, doing live without Jesus. It’s just not truly living.
As much as I know the behavior of my children does not reflect what they have been taught I still question myself. Maybe I should have done…. What can/could I change…. I think the one thing that blesses my heart is one my boys (14 & 12) tell me they see Christ in me even though I have flaws. They also appreciate the fact that I can admit my flaws. I do my best to teach them the ways of the Lord, I pray for my children daily and trust in the Lord. I can only let go and let God, I have faith.
Peace, <
It’s a fine line. I think we are supposed to self-reflect and ask him to purge us of that which will ultimately harm us (and them). But also, like you said, to let go. Do our part of teaching and training (imperfectly) and then trust that he is bigger and able. Mommyhood. It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever done.
This is such a great post. Simple and true. I have often wondered how, when I feel like I’m at the end of my rope but I know I can grab on to Him – what do people do who don’t have that support? I don’t know how they can do it – and that makes me a little bit sad.
Yes, so beautiful Lara. Over and over and over and over again. Little seeds which don’t sprout right away and don’t produce fruit for even longer than that!!! I have one child in whom it;s taken years and years to see fruit in the way she controls her impulses but it’s finally happening! I take all that guilt upon myself too and am so thankful that I can then shrug it off, and lay it down at Jesus’ feet.
I don’t know that I have a good battle plan for mommy-guilt, but I do know it still happens when you become “mom” instead of “mommy”, when the battles are homework, peer pressure, teenagers, choices of new friends, etc. Through each stage of parenting the challenges and joys continue to change. Each stage brings a different kind of joy, a different measure of success and a different battle. BUT through it all God is faithful and prayer is plentiful! Remember, God is sovereign! Thanks again for your blog!
Needed this today. Thank you. Was just last night having a convo with my hubbie about all the guilt I have regarding motherhood. Some situations I feel guilty either way I choose. And then there are the many, many times that I lose it. Thankful for grace!