I don’t like unfinished, loose-ended, half-done, mess. I mean, I have at least eight unfinished, loose-ended projects taking up space in our closets. But I don’t like it.
I like the laundry put away. But it’s not. I like the kitchen counter free from clutter. But it isn’t. I like the dog hair vacuumed up, shoes in the closet, and beds made. But that’s not our reality.
Not to mention the bigger messes. The complexities of the heart. The strained relationships. The uncertain tomorrows. The battle with sin. The unfinished process.
In my craving for the unmessy and the happy-now, I’ve often become preoccupied with fixing. I’ll stay up too late to finish “one last thing.” Or even disregard God’s lead, because waiting quietly doesn’t change things quick enough.
If I dig down to the root of that pursuit for perfection, I find identity issues. I find concern for what (other fallen) humans might think if they saw the mess. And I find distrust that God is working or actively loving me.
Just typing that out makes me see the ridiculousness. Because I know that I know that my God is the only secure place. And I know that I know that He is the only audience worth living for. But my heart still deceives at times.
In recent years He’s slowly been teaching me to release control. He’s challenged me to allow the unfinished relationships, the mess that comes with kids, and the hearts He’s faithfully molding. He’s encouraged me to look for the blessings regardless. And He’s empowering me to simply trust Him with the unfolding. Even if it means living in a season of undone.
Practically, finding soul-rest in the unfinished means I look at faces rather than only the tasks. It means I laugh more and stop to examine that (disgusting) bug with my son…even if it means we’ll be two minutes late(r). It means I breathe and remember that time is short and in the end people matter most. It means I pray for rather than criticize the weaknesses in others. Because I need prayer for my own weaknesses.
This side of Jesus’ return life won’t be finished. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find soul-rest. We can. In Him.
Fill me, Lord…
How have you wrestled to fix the mess rather than rest in the middle of the undone?
I so resonate, Laura -seeking to find rest in the unfinished. Soul-rest comes when we are surrendered to Him and His love. When we “get” His love for us – how deep and high and wide and long is His love for us — that is when we find peace and soul-rest. Because it is in His love and presence that we “shall not want.” Living for HIM brings freedom to embrace the unfinished and… breathe.
Yes, surrender. Insightful words, my friend.
Im undone and unfinished, and yet He still adores me. Mind blowing, and sometimes hard to believe.
Such scandalous grace!
I loved this & it totally relates to where I am now. Thanks:)
Bless you, Laura, in the unfinished.
I struggle with this. I’m never close enough to God, my house isn’t clean enough, my kids don’t behave good enough, I’m not nice enough. I let my expectations for me and my life make me unhappy when I shouldn’t be, I know that. I just don’t know how to stop. Wait yes I do, each time I start to pick apart what I didn’t get done, I can Thank God for what I did get done, and how far I’ve come.
I wrestle this every day. “If only this were done, or that were clean, or this was more organized…then I could just breathe.” I guess it’s really a form of an idol. But peace He gives to us, not as this world does, but only as He can.