I had an overly sensitive, girl moment in the Costco checkout line the other day. But I don’t think he noticed.
Up until that point, the trip had been a success. Three kids, zero spills, minimal whining, some running but no one knocked anyone or anything over. Overall, a victory.
Until the checkout line.
flickr photo credit: dean terry
I’ve done this for years. The person in front of me places their items on the belt. They put down the plastic divider. Then they send their cart on the cart side of the line while they personally move forward on the people side to pay. At which point I place my own items on the available portion of the belt. Seems like a universal procedure.
So the guy in front of me did his part — unloaded his items, put down the plastic divider, parted with his cart, and then moved forward — at which point I took my cue and started to place my own items on the two feet of empty belt.
The cashier asked the man if the items left in his cart were his, to which he replied, loudly and gruff, “Yep. Looks like this lady got over-anxious, huh.” No smile. No joke. Only meanness. Excuse me? You know the checkout line rules.
“Well, sir, you put the divider down so I thought you were finished,” I said. To which he rudely responded, “I wasn’t!”
That’s when the lump blocked my throat. I kept swallowing because I didn’t want him to know that his meanness had messed with me. And I kept blinking because of the embarrassing tears welling in my eyes. I mean, it’s Costco. He’s a stranger. It doesn’t matter.
The cashier stood there shocked, staring with a slightly gnarled lip, giving an eye roll to the guy on my behalf. I mouthed a thank you.
But after my girly, sensitive moment passed, I found myself praying for this unhappy man.
Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow his steps…When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
1 Peter 2:21-23
I’m not sure who coined the phrase, but “hurt people hurt people”. It’s true. When we don’t deal with our own hurt, it comes out all over those beside us. Even strangers in the grocery checkout. And if a person doesn’t know the One who died to take away all shame, condemnation, fear, and angst, then they learn to live with bottled up pain.
Next time we have a moment where someone treats us mean — once we’ve swallowed that lump in our throats — let’s remember to pray for them. (Luke 6:27-28) If anything, they need the gracious intervention of our awesome God.
Fill me, Lord…
What do you do when someone treats you mean?
What can we remember when others hurt us?
I have to admit that I end up fighting back a mix of tears and sarcasm when people are mean to me. It happens often enough that I should be great at dealing with it, but I’m not. Then I usually complain to a third party just to get it out. What I try to remember is that God created that person too, even when he or she isn’t being nice to me. Even if he or she is not my brother or sister in Christ. Loving everyone does not always mean they’ll love me back. Then I talk to God, asking Him for help, and put all that I have into being kind and let Him do the rest in me.
You are so right. “Loving everyone doesn’t mean they will always love me back.” Those are the times we get to show true love, God’s love, which loves in spite of. Blessings, friend.
My girl came off the bus, holding it together until she walked in the door. She & a friend were having a “discussion” about what item they were looking for in the I Spy book. It ended with her friend saying that “you’ve got poor eyesight”. Which sounds so minimal, but to my 3rd grader, it was the end of the world…”I’m not going to school tomorrow”. I really wish we had instant, automatic words of wisdom that just rolls off your tongue before you even know what’s being said! Lots of tears & hugs later, I told her that sometimes friends can say things to hurt your feelings. I said maybe your friend saw that you were right but didn’t know how to react and was scared so she decided to be mean. I told her to be the bigger person and if her friends mentions it again, to let her know that she really hurt your feelings. My son’s advice? “Call her mom & tell her so that she gets in trouble & gets a spanking!” 😉
Ha. It breaks my heart when my kids get hurt by another kid. I pray they learn from a young age to rise above it and see the heart of the other person. Have a great weekend!
This sounds like a good verse to memorize. I will after our Sermon on the Mount Memorizing is through. I need to know this verse and remember it. Thank you for this reminder to why people hurt other people. Also this will be great for my daughter in Kindergarten. We are already having talks about when someone is mean in class. Wonderful!! Thanks!
I agree. I need to keep this verse close to my heart, too. Because the world can be mean. Love to you, friend.
ouch, that hurts! bless you for praying for the man after! i feel God has been working on my heart lately to not react to people’s behaviour, but instead to see the possibility of pain and hurt in their lives causing them to act a certain way. thanks for sharing this encouragement!
Thanks, Lauren. I’m really not a cry baby but it caught me off guard. Oh well. And like you I want to see the heart of others more than just what their mouths may say.
I really need to work on praying for and then forgiving the person who has been mean to me. It really no longer hurts my feelings, but it can make me upset even extremely mad depending on who and what it was. Jesus is always forgiving me when I screw up. I try not to be mean, but I know that even unintentionally I have hurt people’s feelings. Please pray for me – specifically that I pray for the other person in those times instead of just getting mad.
I will, Angela. We’re all in process, friend. Desperate for His great grace.
Needed this today – our 6yo daughter died 3 months ago and now my older son and his wife are having serious issues…feeling raw but entrusting myself and our lives to Him, today. Thank you Lara.
Oh Beverly. I am sincerely praying for His faithful presence in your lives through this very difficult season.
I am praying for your family right now, too, Beverly.
Lara, you are so right, hurt people hurt people. I read a self help book during my teen years, don’t remember the title, which stated that some people are emotional leaches and the only way they can be happy is to make someone else feel bad.
Thank you Jesus for giving me the insight to realize that when people hurt me it is because they are hurting. This insight allows me to feel for them, knowing that they may be having a bad day, are just an unhappy person because they do not know the Lord. Either way my feels are not hurt I feel too much pain for them. This goes for that slow car in front of you that is keeping you from an appointment when you are already late.
Lara, can I just say this post tickles me? I love when people write about seemingly mundane events. And the photo you found? It totally speaks to the feeling I have when I approach the checkout line: a sort of ominous haze runs over. I get lumps in my throat all too easily. Isn’t it amazing that God made us so sensitive, yet so tough, so that we can pray for our enemies? Didn’t he tell us to be innocent as doves, yet shrewd as snakes. (Matthew 10) I love how God enables me to be the crazily sensitive soul that I am, and still gives me the strength to engage in true kingdom battle.
I so know what you mean Lara.Something similar happened to me at a grocery store only it was over a package of meat,and the man was very mean to me ,I didnt even know what to say ,I felt like a little girl wanting to run away and hide,I zoomed out of the store and meanwhile praying in my mind “Oh Jesus why was he so mean to me ,I could see hate in his eyes….” And as soon as I turn on my vehicle the song “Give me your eyes so i can see…” So I understood then….
So good. I have the same reaction when I encounter “meanness”…it’s embarrassing to be affected, but so good to remember how to channel that emotion…into compassion and prayer. Thank you!
my name is sukhpal kaur dhillon. i wanted to say that people are so mean to me and horrible. they treat me like dirt and they say a lot of horrible things and so does my family. i lost my dad in march 20th 2001 and its really hard for me to cope with and i don’t let my tears out i keep it inside me. but no ones sees that and they don’t know what i’m going through and hard it is for me and it feels like that. i wish my dads spirit was with me right now and show me that everything is going to be okay. and i he keeps me on the right path.
I am so sorry to hear your pain. I pray that God would lift you with the truths He declares through His Word. He desires to be in an intimate relationship with you as your heavenly Daddy. I pray that you would know and experience His love. I pray that He would bring someone into your life who can minister His truths to you, in great love. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made. In Christ, His Spirit is in you, guiding, comforting, teaching, and encouraging.