I spoke at a women’s retreat this past weekend, which God graciously allows me to do fairly regularly. But this one was…hmmm…challenging.
A few days before the conference I had this crazy crisis of calling that lingered into the morning of my first session. I started doubting the message God had laid on my heart, doubting the call upon my life to speak, and doubting my sufficiency for any of it. Ding ding ding. Duh. You aren’t sufficient Lara, that’s what so stinkin’ amazing.
So I sat in the floor of the closet of my hotel room before the sun came up. Not because I particularly like closets. But I didn’t want to wake my roommate. So the closet it was.
I sat there and just prayed quietly, “Lord, I can’t do this. Why did You lead me to speak from the book of Daniel? Who’s going to connect with Daniel? Maybe I should change my message and just do a talk I’ve done before. This is too hard. Who am I to speak about You, anyway?” Talk about a complete an utter attack of faith.
My mental gymnastics continued until I stood in that conference room praising Him in song with those hundred other women. The hundred women that God had specifically brought into that room. The hundred women that God intimately knows and intimately pursues. The hundred women that He would miraculously minister to during the weekend away.
The time finally came for me to stand up and speak. And when the first words came out of my mouth, God faithfully took over. Powerfully. And His Spirit mightily moved in hearts all over that room.
After the session all I could do was thank Him!! Exclamation marks because that’s how I thanked Him. I repented of my doubts and praised Him for His faithfulness. And I realized that He had me exactly where He wanted me –> completely and utterly dependent upon Him.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for {bind themselves to} the Lord
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31
You know, just because something’s challenging doesn’t mean we’re on the wrong path or doing the wrong thing. In fact, God, more often than not, calls us to things that are completely outside of our natural abilities and strength. Because when tasks or relationships or life seasons are beyond us, we desperately cling to our God. And that’s when chains fall, lives transform, and mountains move.
I don’t know where God has you these days, but I’m fairly certain He’s placed you in at least one circumstance that feels impossible. And it’s right there in the midst of that impossibility that He’s going to show Himself big and mighty as you cling to Him, one step at a time.
For me, today, it isn’t a speaking engagement, it’s motherhood. Lord. Help. Me.
Fill me, Lord…
What challenging, seeming-impossible thing is God calling you to these days?
teaching. 8th graders. in the spring. even though it’s my twentieth year, the last ten weeks is always a challenge.
Teaching 8th graders. A calling in and of itself. Trusting God with you that He will faithfully equip you for these final weeks.
I needed to read this today. I’m speaking this weekend, and again in May, and it’s new and terrifying and I’m insanely unqualified. I haven’t even written my talk for this weekend because I’m too afraid to do it. Lord. Help. Me. Amen.
Good luck Crystal! You can do it!
Crystal, do not let Satan’s whispers keep you from embracing God’s calling. Step forward in faith and He will carry you.
Bless you, sweet Crystal. Praying for His faithful anointing on you as you spend time listening to His voice in preparation. He has a word for those ladies. Receive and then pour it out in faith. xoxo
Despite the odds God granted me acceptance into medical school. For the first time in my life I will be leaving my family to study abroad in the Carribean. I begin in the Fall. I am fully dependent on God to guide me successfully through my studies. He is a gracious and loving God to those that fear and believe in his promises!
Wow! How exciting! And with the view of the Caribbean?! Glorious. Praying that you step out in faith, trusting that you can be strong and courageous for The Lord your God is with you wherever you go! (Joshua 1:9) Blessings, sister.
today it is my job and a principal who thinks her way is always right and those of us who have been at this much longer don’t know a thing. I am ready to quit and give up. Your words inspired me to cling to God and hang in there. He has a purpose for this challenge.Thank you for touching my heart
Oh Tammy. Loving easy to love people is so easy. It’s when He calls us to love the difficult ones that our faith is truly stretched. Because we can’t do it in and of ourselves. Ugh. Praying that you are able to spend time in worship — stirring His Spirit within you to overflowing — so that His love pours out on your principal. Bless you, sister.
Lara, love your post! I agree, often the things God calls us to are difficult. If they weren’t we wouldn’t need Him. My current challenge – trusting God to sell our house while we live in a rental 8 hours away and finding (or building?) our new home by the end of the year. It is a challenge not to be consumed by worry and the what-ifs…
Exactly, Cyndee. We wouldn’t need Him if we weren’t in situations that revealed our desperate dependence. Praying that Phil. 4:6-7 is so very real to you as you wait.
Lara, I’m one of those 100 women that were blessed this weekend. You are an amazing and gifted woman. While you certainly have faith in God, He also has faith in you. God is using you to share his Word with other women, women that need spriritual renewal and encouragement. “God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 God Bless! – melodye
I had such a precious time this past weekend — other than the whole crisis of calling before that first session. Ha. God is so faithful. Thank you for your kind, affirming, encouraging words. He equips for the call. He is always worthy of worship. xoxo
My laptop ran out of gas last night in the middle of this post. I powered up this morning right at the Isaiah scripture, which is exactly the reminder I needed. My challenge is motherhood. My 4th has some special needs, behavioral/social/emotional mostly. Last night there was a huge blowup with my 9 year old saying things to me, in a mocking, demeaning tone with physical stuff too that left me reeling. The other kids were appalled and thankfully my husband stayed steady. I’m completely past any illusions I may have had about my mothering skills. I’m beyond anything except just wanting to sleep and stay away from everyone. Opening up to this scripture and the remainder of the blog encouraged me. Thank you Lara.