A number of years ago I said a prayer. And I meant it. I told/asked God with deep conviction, “Lord God, I see that everything comes back to love. Everything. So I’m yours. Teach me how to truly love.” What I didn’t know at that particular moment in time was that my selfish heart took a major blow that day. And in its short-sighted, self-protective, natural stance, it hates it when that happens.
But freedom to truly love means our selfish heart has to lay itself down.
Years later, I’m still still being refined. I’m still learning what it means to truly love. I’m still learning how to crucify the self-life. I’m still learning how to be so satisfied in Christ — so totally complete in Him — that loving others has no strings attached and no expectations for the other person to meet. A continual, beautiful, sometimes painful, but always glorious journey.
So the other day God peeled back yet another layer of my heart when it comes to love. One of our pastors was preaching from Matthew 7. He read Jesus’ words, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Then he compared this “positive” command — “do to others” — with the “negative” version — “do not do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.” Stick with me. This gets amazing.
He was talking about how the negative version of the command is self-protective. It’s, “I don’t want you to kick me in the gut so I won’t kick you in the gut.” And to be honest, I can pretty well do the negative version. I can pretty well keep from initiating hurt to others. Mostly.
But the positive version of love — the “do to others” — is waaaaayyy different. It’s risky and selfless and radical…and Jesus-like. It’s giving when we aren’t receiving. It’s pressing in and moving towards in spite of what the other may or may not do. And it’s done without expectation of anything in return.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
1 Corinthians 13:5-7
I can’t love like that when left to me. I’m selfish and a product of Janet Jackson’s “What have you done for me lately?” mentality. It’s only possible to love like that if/when I daily (minutely) die to self and find fullness in Christ alone. That’s the only way.
“Why,” you ask, “would I ever want to live like that — loving others regardless of whether or not they can or will love me?” The reason? You and I were created to love like that. God designed us to love radically and sacrificially, like He loves. In fact, loving like that is freedom for our souls.
When we are so satisfied in Christ that we aren’t grasping at people (or things or situations) in this world to fill us, we enter into the beauty of salvation. We step into the place in which God created us to dwell.
I know it’s hard. In fact it’s impossible apart from Him. But the journey to learn how to truly love begins with a prayer. It begins with a few words uttered to our Father with deep conviction, “All of this life is about love. So Lord God, take me and teach me how to love.” Then, just hang on tight. A freedom journey awaits.
Fill me, Lord…
What or how has God taught you about true, Jesus love?
It took me a loooooooong time to finally get this “which comes first the chicken or the egg” teaching from God. I kept trying and trying harder to love like 1 Cor. 13 defines love. That Scripture was a reading at our wedding 52 years ago. God’s message finally became clear to this slow learner that I cannot unconditionally love anyone-only He can do that. I finally grasped that I needed to learn how to receive God’s love from Him first before I would be supplied to give it to others. Why? Because God is the only Source of unconditional (agape) love. Until I let Him patiently unclog my pipes to receive it, I had no other source. Clogged pipes came from teaching that convinced me I wasn’t good enough, worthy enough, valuable enough to be loved by God like that. It took me years to believe God’s words that declared I already was because of my faith in Jesus. As the years pass and I desperately desire for the lost in my family to know my Jesus, the clearer God continues to whisper, “Receive my love and together we can love them well.”
Beautiful testimony, Denise!
So amazing, Denise. Thank you so much for sharing. You are a blessing.
I’m completely with you on this (or with God on this, I suppose). On paper. But I have no idea what or how to make this real in my day to day. That’s what I’m asking God to help me with in 2015!
I know. On paper is always so much easier than lived out. So. much. easier. Only by His grace and in the minute to minute submission. Help us, Lord.