It all comes down to grace.
We’re all the same. We’re all desperate for grace. When left to ourselves, we’re a complete mess, in need mercy.
As I remember our desperate state as humans, I don’t get that offended at what people do. As I’ve laid down any expectations I could place on people, I find I don’t take offense.
But when it comes to those in my home, I struggle. I get “offended” by their faults. And it’s because I place expectations on them. I don’t mean to. But I do.
I expect my man to love me. Or I expect my kids to obey. Granted they honor the Lord when they do, but everyone has a bad day. If I hold my expectations too tightly — depending on them to fill something in me — then I’m more likely to go spiraling down into that familiar pit if they miss the mark.
God never tells us to place expectations upon other people. He tells us to love people, forgive people, pray for people, and bless people. But expectations? If anything, we should expect them to fall — just like we do each and every day.
There is a place for confronting the sin of those we love. There is place for bold declarations of Truth. But I’m thinking that erring on the side of grace and love honors Him the most.
So I’m laying down the expectations…again. I’m choosing to love and then trusting Him with the hearts of those beside me. I’m not going to take offense when they slip and fall. Instead, I want to help pick them up and dust them off.
No offense taken.
Now for the giveaway. Everyone loves a sursie.
Deadline for entry is Sunday, November 13th.
Winner will be announced on Monday, November 14th.
Speaking of grace, I’m so excited to share *this* with you. Janelle, the owner/designer of Grace Tags, has graciously donated a “necklace of your choice” to one of my readers!
We’re talking serious beauty mingled with reminders of God’s life-changing Truth. So lovely.
But that’s not all. Janelle is also offering a 35% discount to all of my readers! Think “Christmas Gifts,” friends. Click here to visit her Etsy shop. The discount code is LARABLOG2011.
To enter the giveaway, comment below answering this question, “What does it mean for you to give grace to others?”
For extra entries, click the share buttons below to share on Facebook or Twitter and then leave a comment telling me you shared this post.
For me, I struggle with extending grace, particularly with my children. Which is doubly frustrating because then I see them mirroring that same lack of grace with each other, and others. So, for me, extending grace means forgiving and correcting in the manner in which I would want to be forgiven or corrected.
I tweeted this giveaway. @thisgalsjourney
I feel like I have laid down many “expectations” of others in the World as well. When it comes down to family though, I make that mistake more often too. I NEED grace. I would be the lost and alone someone I once was with out it. Giving grace is a seems to me like a gift of being thankful for my own experience with grace. I also find my desires are not where they should be if I find myself put out, upset easily, and offended by other peoples actions. Getting priorities straightened out leads to much more of giving grace in my life.
I was always taught that grace meant “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense”–if Christ can literally die for someone while they are still a sinner, why can’t we extend forgiveness???
This may sound twisted, but what it means for me to give grace to others is to first receive it myself. I cannot give what I do not possess and if I am not regularly drinking from the well of grace, I’m going to be too dry and empty to offer it to anyone else.
I need to admit how much I need His grace—and it’s a lot.
God has taught me so much about grace this year. Thank you for this lovely giveaway!
I tweeted 🙂
I facebook’d 🙂
For me, to give grace to others, particularly my kids, is to not let myself get overcome by anger over things I have no right to be angry for. You hit it right when you said it’s about putting my expectations on those I love, and then when they don’t meet those expectations, I get personally offended. I need to let go of my expectations and realize that they are allowed to make mistakes and think about how I would want to be treated when I make mistakes, not with shouting and anger, but with love and kindness. Thank you for a convicting post!
to give grace to others, i first have to lay aside the things keeping me from accepting grace in the first place…when i forget to dwell in God’s grace, to remember that in reality all of this life is nothing but grace, i am unable to be gracious to others, especially those closest.
To give grace to those in my home and life is to see them as God sees them- His precious and beloved child that He have His own life to save. God is always working to redeem and restore in His relationships and I must do the same. Praying daily for His eyes foe the eogld- to see the heart struggles, pain, and longing of those around me. Behavior choices are ways the product of the heart condition.
“for the world”
facebooked it 😉
Giving grace means to look past others imperfections. To look past the hurt and the pain that others have caused you and to see them as another broken person, just like me. Its looking past the scars that others have caused to find that you love them even though they are a mess…(aren’t we all a little bit of a mess).
Offering grace for me is two fold dear Lara. 1- It means to freely let go of control and expectation for those who live near and dear to me…and 2…oh drat…to accept the grace God gives me. I have been known to have “high expecatations” from my husband…I always counter that with some social-political thought within myself…and often times begrudgingly resign to whatever the issue at hand. I struggle with performance based grace…and it saddens our Lord as He offers it freely, and abundantly. I fearfully offer forgiveness for I desperately need it myself. This is a tough one Lara…tough one. Thank you as always for provoking mindful moments on Him. love you sister.
facebooked dear friend.
This is great, thank you!
Jenn
I try to work on this daily. I also like to remind my children once in a while nobody is perfect, not even mommy. 😀 I shared this on facebook too.
For me to give grace to others is the most beautiful and loving gift I can give them – and myself. Keeps my precious family free from any harm I could do them and keeps my spirit free of that bitterness that poisons from within. It is after all what Christ extended to me, to them, to all of us – and what a Teacher He is.
I’ve also tweeted this. Beautiful post!
Greatly
Renewed at the
Acknowledgement of
Christ’s
Enduring love
When Christ’s “enduring love” is represented in our lives, we offer the opportunity for others to receive grace. Many times we in the ‘Christian circle’ estrange ourselfs to the beautiful grace of God. We expect the requirement of perfection before we can receive such grace and love and acceptance. This is so blissfully NOT true, niether should it be true in our relationships with outhers! I see opportunities to give grace all around: to be understanding of a bad day or stress that is unloaded onto me, to realize the background of the one to whom I’m talking, to forgive even when their not apologetic, to not say a single thing when I know that the other person is being ridiculous (this is a big one for me).
The broader idea is that my love will not be under the condition of others’ good behavior. Rather, it will continue in spite of their bad behavior–just like God’s love endures MY bad behavior. There is a sense of renewal that occures once a person acknowledges their undeserving of such treatment. Prayerfully, they will be pointed to the Source.
Giving grace to others means remembering that God’s ways are not mine. I love that God responds so easily to my pitiful “I’m sorry’s” and that I need to extend that to the people in my life as well. Not always easy as I find myself with expectations,too.
I don’t tweet,sorry
Lara, you are a gift this morning. My husband and I spent the weekend in silence. Both of us grieving over the shortcomings in the other. Neither of us looking to ways of giving grace.
Lord, thank you for speaking into my heart today.
I could so relate to this post. I extend “grace” to others by listening, cooking, helping, volunteering and serving when I may not always feel like or want to. I do not do this as well with my own. I am so quick to expect immediate responses from my family then when I do not receive them the “grace” factor is out the window. Thanks for a thought provoking post & a chance for a sweet gift!
When I give grace it means overlooking faults, forgiving more, blessing more….just loving more!!
I tweeted 🙂
For me, giving grace is two-fold: not being judgemental {especially when people don’t do things the way *I* think they should be done} … and also, being quick to forgive.
Jesus so quickly and fully forgave me, so how could I possibly NOT offer that same grace to someone? My sins and offenses are just as ugly as the next person’s! {So thankful for what Jesus is teaching me about His beautiful grace!!}
Extending grace is obedience to my Heavenly Father, the giver of grace. How can I be Christ to those around me if I don’t extend grace–I can’t. Forgive, forgive, and forgive again.
It means to show love and forgiveness. It means letting go and knowing that I am not in control of their actions or their salvation. I’m in control of how I react. He shows me grace everyday and I need to do the same thing for others.
Tweeted.
https://twitter.com/randi094/status/133746891866378241
Oh yes, it is much easier to extend grace to strangers than to my beloved family. Alas, it easier to extend grace to my family than to myself.
To give grace to others? To try to see them as Jesus sees them. Beloved.
For me it’s the worst when I have a difficult time extending grace to my man. I try not to have expectations of him, but inevitably I do. Then when he doesn’t meet them, I’m upset, as if that’s his fault. Or when things actually are wrong, even if I don’t voice it or act on it, in my mind I can be really cruel. Forgetting that he’s not perfect and that I’m not any better. Then God gets to teach me, all over again, His truth and the grace He showed me.
I tweeted 🙂
It means that God has worked through me to give the grace. We as humans cannot give grace on our on. It is not within our human nature. God is the grace giver!!!
Hi Lara, I shared your blog on FaceBook!!
The grace Christ shows me is in giving me what I do not deserve, overlooking my offenses, treating my heart gently. I agree, it is hardest to do this for those we are closest to, and that really is convicting to me. The area of offering grace I most need to work on is in treating gently my teens! I have kids ranging from toddler to teen, and I am working on seeing the heart of my kids (and my husband) behind the words and the moods, and I need to sometimes have a more gentle spirit toward these people I love so much.
I just wrote about this today, as a matter of fact, and grace is just forgive, and forgive, and forgive – forgive, and remember how I’m forgiven, and remember how I will mess up and need the forgiveness of others, and forget the offense. Forgive. Remember. Forget.
This is my first time commenting – and I really heart your words. And you’re right – we do expect more from those we love – I think that’s one of the reasons why families squabble – that’s why churches fight too – but your words are so true – God never says for us to place expectations – but to extend grace. Thank you for this – thank you. And God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours Katie.
I find myself doing the same. Extending grace to others, complete strangers even and then when I am in my own home with my family suddenly the rules change? What is this? I see it most with my kids. For me to give grace to them is letting them fail and being ok with it. Helping them picking up the pieces (sometimes literally picking up pieces). I want them to know they don’t have to be perfect like I know I sometimes make them feel.
I shared this on facebook.
I always tell my family grace is freely given here. Often to those who don’t deserve it. Forgiveness is free and always offered. And trying to bless others more than they’ve blessed you is simply the fun game of grace. A game if played, you always win.
I tweeted. @simplystriving Thanks for the chance to win! Love Janelle’s handiwork…
“What does it mean for you to give grace to others?” Remember that, I too, am a fallen sinner in need of just as much grace!
I tweeted! 🙂 http://twitter.com/#!/ChelseyTHall/statuses/134351673798823937
I shared on facebook! 🙂
To forgive and to love no matter what.
Grace to my children is a huge thing for me. However, I also struggle with extending grace to those who hold a different opinion than I. I need to let go of some things. I need to learn to focus (and not compromise) on what is a fundamental/eternal/salvation issue, and let go of things that are simply opinion and allow them to be such.
I love what you said here and I needed to read it SO BADLY. Grace is all about tossing out your expectations of others so you can spend that energy on being loving and forgiving.
I shared on fb!
Giving grace to others means setting aside my rights,and simply receiving them as they are. They don’g have to impress me…or obey for me to receive them in love.
That is how Jesus sees me. I need to do the same.
Tweeted! Cause you are awesome.
I struggle with this greatly, especially lately! *Amazing* how I just came here tonight. 😉 Anyway, grace to let the expectations/imperfections go.
I tweeted here http://twitter.com/#!/Splithitter
I find I give grace best if I don’t speak to others in the heat of anger. If I cool off and pray over something, I find that so many slights or things I see as opportunities for confrontation or correction fall away under the warmth of grace.