If you’re just joining me, I’m in the midst of a short series called the Life-Giver Series”. Or the expanded title, “How to be a life-giver rather than a life-sucker in our relationships”. You can click here to read the intro to this series. And click here to read “step one” to being a life-giver. Now on to step two.
STEP TWO: INTERCEDE
On Monday I proposed “Step One” to being a life-giver in our relationships: Let God Define Me. And that step is absolutely crucial. In fact, if we don’t begin there and camp out there, allowing God to define us, we will easily slip into life-sucker mode — depending on people and circumstance to give us hope and peace and joy. And that mode never works. Ever. I’ve tried.
The goal is to be at the place where people and circumstance no longer hold the power over our heart stance. Yes, hard things happen. Devastating things at times. Yes, people hurt us. And yes, feelings come. And God is so tender to our humanity. He’s patient with our process. But in Christ we don’t have to continually live in the place of soul-unrest.
It takes a pressing into Him, especially when we’re tempted to doubt what He says about us and what He promises over us. But when we fill our hearts with His truths, continually communing with Him when feelings flare, we’re positioned to be life-givers even to those who try to suck the life from us. Can I get a witness?
So we begin by allowing Him to define us. Then, step two, we intercede. Did you catch the “I”? L-I-F-E. So clever, huh.
If there’s anything that comes natural, it’s to fixate upon and criticize the weaknesses in others. In fact, we as humans seem to have an uncanny ability to identify all the things that need to change in others, while downplaying or completely missing all the mess that clutters up our own heart. I think they call that self-righteousness. Blah.
I wrote about this in my book To Walk or Stay because when my husband and I went through our darkest times, it was easy for me to point fingers. All of them. But God tenderly and lovingly revealed my own messed-up heart. He showed me that I wasted so much time criticizing Adam rather than interceding for him. And as his helpmate and sister-in-Christ, intercession was, and continues to be, my call. In fact, prayer is our calling even towards our enemies!
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
Matthew 5:44-45
The truth is that as long as we live on this planet, people will hurt or disappoint us because they have their flesh to deal with, like we do. They will say things and do things that tempt us to feel craptacular, like we will. But in those moments we have a choice to make. We can believe what others say or we can take that emotion to God and ask for His vision.
There will be times when another person points something out in us that needs God’s tending. Even our kids unknowingly do this. And it humbly stinks when it happens. But other times people may simply be speaking out of their own hurt or need for identity. Regardless, we have choice.
We have the choice to turn criticisms into intercessions!
We can do this as a wife, mom, daughter, friend, sister, roommate, employee. The list is endless. When we stand firm in who God says we are, we’re positioned to be life-givers through intercession. And believe me, the results from intercession immeasurably outweigh the results from critical defensiveness.
So today, let’s be life-givers in our relationships by interceding on the behalf of the people around us. Ask for God’s vision of them and then stand in the gap for the heart struggles they face. I promise, it’s the way better choice.
Fill me, Lord…
Think of your most strained relationship. Start the day by interceding for that person. Then be ready to keep on interceding as interactions arise.
How do you think intercession will change (or how have you seen it change) your own attitude?
This is the step that I often skip, but when I don’t it truly makes all the difference!
Loving this series, and of course your use of the word craptacular never hurts. 😉
I know what you mean. It’s easy to skip this step. But it’s so key. Help us, Lord. (And yes, that word just seems to rightly describe so many situations.)
Oh my. This mini-series of posts is so good. So often I forget that sometimes my best defense is to simply pray, even when someone has hurt me deeply. And also, it’s far TOO easy to see other people’s faults than own up to my own.
Wow, how appropriate as I struggle with a relationship at work with my boss. He chose to support another employee (who was proven at fault) over me and walked away after telling me that I was strong enough to stand alone. Now want everything to be as it was. If I did not love my job so much I would be gone. Now I see that I would rather argue and stay angry than simply pray. Humbling it tis. Thanks.