“Hey John, did you hear what Peter said last night when we were collecting all the leftovers from the big, fish-and-bread feast? I mean, what’s His deal? Who does he think he is?”
Yeah. I’m thinking that never happened. Because Jesus didn’t gossip.
But the church — those of us supposedly following in our Lord’s footsteps — we gossip. We may veil it in prayer requests, nestled neat between a few “bless her heart” statements. But let’s be honest. It’s gossip.
Almost anytime that we slander another or talk negative about what they should do or what they did do, we speak out of the need to boost our own insecure ego. We say things about others so that we, in our own fallen state, will look better. Smarter. Wiser. But do you know what’s at the root? Fear.
We fear not measuring up. We fear rejection. We fear what others think about us. But doing anything out of fear — other than fear of The Lord — will always and forever lead us astray.
Don’t hear me pointing fingers. I’m just as guilty as the next girl, saying something I later regretted. But gossip does grieve my spirit — when I do it and when others do it. Especially when we gossip about those we’re instructed to love and uphold and encourage — like our brothers and sisters in the church.
Who are we to judge? Who are we to discern the intents of the heart? In Christ, you and I stand under so much grace, it’s ridiculously scandalous. Yet in our pride we think we can point the finger and say how someone else’s journey should look.
It’s devastating to fellowship.
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
Matthew 7:1-2A dishonest man spreads strife,
and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,
but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.
Proverbs 11:13
I’m pretty sure the call on us is to pour out grace. Yes, there’s a place for holding others accountable if we see them falling into pits of sin. But gossip doesn’t hold someone accountable. Gossip rips them and their reputation apart.
I pray today, as I often pray, that God would put a guard over my mouth. That I would be slow to speak and quick to listen. That I would honor Him and bless others with the words I speak. And when I fail, I pray that the people beside me give me grace. And I praise Him that He never forsakes, always forgives, and continues to sanctify.
Glad I got that out.
Fill me, Lord…
How have you seen gossip destroy others?
preach sister. I was so convicted of this in my own life I decided to take a drastic approach…only talk about someone if I was talking to that someone. I found any time I talked about someone (positive or negative) when they weren’t around it got me in trouble. So I made a point to just only “say it to her face”. When I was with friends it forced me to talk more about myself or ask more questions of the friend I was with, having her open up more. I still fail…often. But I agree if we truly want to be “Jesus followers”…here is an area which needs a little work.
Love it, Heather! That’s a great phrase to keep in our minds. “Say it to her face.”
Wow, Heather. That is drastic, but I can see how that would helpful. Thanks for sharing – I think it’s an approach I’ll take!
We all know “who” that gossip is…the one who always knows the scoop on every “prayer need”….but I won’t say the name. We all have to be aware of our own tendencies!
Ha. Gossip about a gossiper. Yeah, actually God convicted me of something I personally said recently about someone. He’s patient and faithful to lead us.
I worry about falling into this all the time – especially at work. Sometimes it’s hard to separate discussing someone’s work outcomes and gossip. Thankfully, I’m no longer in a manager role, which helps!
Thanks for convicting reminder!.
Ugh. I don’t “like” writing such convicting things — convicting to me! But it was heavy in my spirit after something I said recently to someone about someone else. (Tongue twister.) God convicted. He does that, for our good and His glory.
I had a friend who I felt obligated to friend. She was older, and it really seemed as though God put me in her life for a reason. But she was/is a horrible gossiper! I was torn for so long because I couldn’t stop her from doing it. In the beginning I would listen and then tell her well we will pray for “so and so” lets not talk about it. But that never worked!! I found myself gossiping with her unintentionally! I had to seriously get all holy on her. As soon as she mentioned someone’s name I said “stop right there! Lets pray!” She eventually stopped calling me 🙂
Oh this is so convicting Lara. I have been struggling with this, and I’m afraid I’ve been turning a blind eye to it. I know my heart is convicted about it, but when it comes to other people & sisters in Christ I’m lost on how to handle it. What do you do or say when your friend wants to gossip, but you feel like you don’t want to partake in that sort of slander? How can we turn the conversation around without sounding preachy or condemning? Im just lost on how to handle it and usually end up saying nothing at all.
Hi Lara,
While I really appreciate the point of this post, I do want to suggest to you and others that Jesus is clearly portrayed as gossiping negatively in Matthew’s gospel. After publicly shaming the Pharisees into silence (Mt 22:46), Jesus “pours salt into the wound” (so to speak) by turning away from them, to the crowd to gossip with them about the Pharisees, and with the Pharisees standing right there (Mt 23:1-7)! Scholars who study gossip in the New Testament recognize this example of gossiping as particularly aggressive since it is intended to be overheard (and immediately!) by the subject(s). Jesus turns away from the Pharisees toward the crowd (thus, rendering the Pharisees “absent” to the discussion), then invites the crowd to construct the Pharisees negatively with him – “they don’t practice what they preach!” and “They do (good) works only to be seen doing them.” The situation as it is described fits the definition of gossip to a “T.”
Gossip in Jesus’ time and place was perceived as something “not good,” but it was put into practice by everybody, all the time. In fact, such talk was an essential social process involved in the construction and maintenance of manners, customs, mores, and group & individual identity.
Paul the Apostle gossips very negatively about Peter to the Galatians (read Gal 2:11-14). This is an example of “epistolary gossip” (gossiping in a letter) as Paul invites the Galatians to construct Peter as a “coward” and a “hypocrite.”
This doesn’t mean Jesus and Paul were bad guys; By no means! But it does situate them believably in their social-cultural context.
I’m not suggesting that gossiping badly about people is “OK” or something like that. [It IS possible to gossip positively too – we should all practice that kind of speech.] Gossip can tear down and apart and injure and destroy – for sure. But I couldn’t resist responding given the title of your post “Jesus Didn’t Gossip” since, in fact, according to Matthew, he did!
Blessings to you and your ministry with this blog.
Jack
http://culturaljesus.wordpress.com/