I’ve been asking God a tough question lately: “Lord, what am I chasing other than You?” Or in the less politically correct verbiage, “what are my idols?”
You know me. Always full of light conversation over here on the blog.
I mentioned that my word for 2015 is “deeper.” Wanting God to take my faith deeper, my intimacy with Him deeper, my experience of His presence deeper. But going deeper means He has to shed some stuff from my heart. Because we can’t go deeper if we’re clinging to something other than Him to give us life.
So I’ve asked Him to show me my heart. Which is always a slightly scary prayer. And He’s been showing me some things about myself — things that steal joy or peace or freedom.
One idol that He has revealed is the idol of my reputation. {insert dramatic organ music here.}
My dinky. little. reputation. Which I would assume is linked to the other idol of wanting the approval of certain people. Which is just a twisted desire considering that the God of the universe wants to be in relationship with me (and you) and the voices of man can’t change who we are in Christ. How could our confused heart want anything more than that?!
I’ve seen my spirit get a little panicky when I hear through the grapevine that someone has misrepresented things I’ve said or misunderstood my intentions. But it isn’t a holy, selfless panicky feeling — like I want to make sure God is represented well. It’s a selfish, self-preservation feeling — like I want to make sure I am represented well.
Yet the One I follow was reviled but didn’t revile in return. He was misrepresented and betrayed. He was lied about and spit upon. All the while entrusting Himself and His reputation to the Father. He didn’t scrounge to defend His glorious name — though He had every right to do so as the majestic Son of God. He didn’t feel sorry for Himself when people rejected Him. He communed with the Father and released Himself to Him.
“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”
(1 Peter 2:23 ESV)
There was and is only one Jesus and we obviously aren’t Him. Can I get an amen? But in Christ we’ve been sealed with His Spirit. He indwells the believer. And His will for us is that we find our life and pleasure and fulness in relationship with the Father.
In Tim Keller’s book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness — yep. I’m still reading. Miracles do indeed happen. — Keller talks about how Paul lived out of his identity in Christ. Paul didn’t care what people thought of him. He didn’t even care what he thought about himself. He didn’t link his sin or his accomplishments to who he was. He lived out of the truth: I am a child of God in whom my Father is well pleased because of Jesus.
So today I confess my lovely heart issues to God in your (virtual) presence — acknowledging that the approval of man is a worthless pursuit. And I ask Him to cleanse me — healing those deep places of my heart that are still tempted to look to mere humans to gain pieces of my identity.
And I challenge you to ask yourself the same question. What are you chasing after other than God? This is when you probably wish that this was a cooking blog.
Fill me, Lord…
OK brave daughter of God, what is He wanting to shed from you these days?
Your blogs are so good! Real, meaty, convicting… Thank you for sharing how God is encouraging you! Isn’t it so amazing how God double blesses us? First blessing is working on our heart and drawing us nearing to Him, and then He uses us to bless others when we share our testimonies.
“This is probably when you wish this was a cooking blog…” Lol!!!!
I kinda want to be friends with you, lol!
Thank you! 🙂
lol. It’s good to know someone gets my jokes. Ha. Thanks for saying “hi” Kimberly!!
Really thankful that there are still writers out there sharing scriptural truths instead of all the garbage on the internet these days! Grateful for you!
Bless you, friend. I know you’ve been going through a challenging time. Believing that He will keep meeting you all right there in the middle of it. xoxo
I had to confess a sin to my oldest yesterday. God showed me that I am overly critical and harsh with her because deep down I expect perfection out of her. That was a really hard moment for me. She was very gracious and forgave me. God sure does like to make us see our need for Him and Him alone. My daughter’s actions won’t bring me life, only God does that.
Ugh. So humbling, huh. What a good mama you are, friend.
My friend, just finished having my worship and I read your blog. One of my daily requests to God is that he creates in me a clean heart and renews the right spirit within me. I also read this morning Romans 8:26-30. I was so very humbled and touched to know that the holy spirit is praying on my behalf and that God knows my heart. I may not have the words, but he knows ME…..simple, but wonderfully made ME….and he’s causing everything to work together for HIS purpose….NOT mine. I have to die daily to self in order to keep my focus and burning desire to please him.
Amen, Michelle. Me too — die daily (hourly) to keep my focus. And when I don’t it isn’t pretty.
Lara, I wrote about these very things last year in “The Death of Me” series on my blog. I am not dead yet to these things. Thank you for powerful life-giving words that are always challenging me to go deeper.
Thanks for that encouragement, Stacy. 🙂
So true words. I was tested this week too about this very thing. Why do I care so much what other people, especially women, think of me? Because I am a people please, that’s why. I have it all backwards. Pleasing man will never happen. No matter what, someone will always be upset with something I do or say. But God, is a different story. The question is, am I pleasing Him?
Wishing I was reading a cooking blog? Never! 😉
Thanks for getting real today.
Haha!! Cooking blog! I so love your humor.
Such a convicting blog! Thank you Lara – your words always run deep 🙂 My idol at the moment is my new boyfriend. Whilst I’m excited for a blessing from God, I’m trying to put my priorities into perspective and not become obsessed/controlling in order to ‘make’ it work. Ultimately, it’s an illusion anyway as God is in the control room! I always try and remember JOY (Jesus, then others, then you!). I’m praying that I will believe this not just a head level, but a heart level too 🙂
Happy 2015 to you and your family.
May God bless you richly.
Denyse
Australia
Food, I love it and I love the pleasure of it. I am currently reading an article by Edward Welch, Self Control: The Battle Against “One More”. In that article he references many points: Of the Seven Deadly Sin, three-avarice, gluttony and lust are devoted to excesses. In fact, sin itself can be summarized as “I WANT” “I WANT MORE”.
Such greed is partner to idolatry. Idolatry expresses a heart that wants more. It says that God is not enough, so it looks for satisfaction in other places. As such, at the heart of idolatry is recklessness, and it is not surprising that runaway desires play a part consistently in false worship.
I looked up the definition of recklessness-utterly (completely, totally) unconcerned about the consequences of some action; careless
Oh wretched woman am I, who can rescue me JESUS!! He will clean me up as I consecrate my heart to Him!! Oh praise the Lord!!!
Thank you for your deep love for the Lord, to obey Him and be transparent!!
Thank you for keeping it 100% with your fellow Christian sisters! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Last week sometime the Holy Spirit spoke to me about my “social media blues” regarding my unproductive hours on Facebook comparing my life and secretly wishing I had a more thrilling social life, picture perfect marriage and the ability to take a deceit selfie (all leading to a self-pity) ….lol, sad but true. I think I have deactivated my Facebook several times within the past 2 months, but reactivating convincing myself that I will use it more wisely. Ugh the struggle! Anyhow, The Lord spoke to me about my motives being gear towards the whole “look at me” attitude resulting in pride. Likes or comments gave me some of false self-worth. My constant comparing my lives to others pages & pictures left me feeling empty, ungrateful and unsatisfied. A big OMG moment for me! Your blog has encouraged me that I am not alone, so I’m pressing more toward Jesus in redirecting my heart, emotions and thought life. It’s amazing how the simplest things can become an idol, but I’m thankful that Jesus puts up with me and reels me in when I have gone overboard. 🙂