Part of me feels so trite telling you that Monday was one of *those* days. I wasn’t starving from hunger like the millions and millions around the world. I wasn’t sold into the sex-slave-trade industry like more millions of women and children desperate to simply survive. Nope. I just woke up whiny and selfish and inwardly funktified.
Piles of stuff that we don’t need silently harassed me from every room. I even let them follow me into my morning quiet with God. I tried to ignore them, but they kept on. (Imagine the voice of the wicked witch of the West, “You can’t get to us. There’s not enough time in the day, my pretty.”)
Then there was the bickering between my three kids. Bicker bicker bicker bicker. Bicker. Plus I forgot eight things at the grocery store. Eight — when some can’t even afford one thing from the grocery store. Add in hormones and an evening “discussion” with my man and you have the perfect concoction for joyless, selfish living, which is pretty depressing considering the aforementioned worldwide devastations.
But if I’m honest, I struggled.
All the while my Daddy-God watched over me, so patient with my immaturity.
After my kids went to bed He drew me into a quiet space of reflection…and repentance. Literally. Like it felt as if my feet couldn’t go anywhere except to Him. My knees couldn’t go anywhere but down. He compelled me. He broke me…to heal me.
The time wasted burdened me most. It broke me to think that I wasted His gift of today, inwardly whining about all I needed to “do.” Meanwhile I forgot that He holds time. And He gives me the exact amount that I need to do exactly what He has for my today — especially enough time to give selfless love to those around me.
It broke me to think that I allowed such earthly, temporary things to steal that daily abundance He died to give. So I got before Him and let Him do the needed heart work. And once I reached the other side of tears and Bible and journaling and prayer, I could breathe again.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Psalm 34:6-8
Funktified irritability is a red flag that our hearts need cleansing. There comes a time to lay everything else down and get really raw before Him. A time to reevaluate priorities and confess places of sin. His grace never runs dry. The sweetness that follows enables us to shine Him onto our very needy world.
If you would like some accountability for starting your day with God, join the thousands of us that take the Hello Mornings challenge. It really does make a HUGE difference to my day. Registration for the Fall session is now underway. It’s easy and free.
Fill me, Lord…
So what do you do when you’re having one of *those* days?
The guilt alone can swallow us whole. The enemy loves to paralyze us and crown us useless when we become paralyzed in our own sin. Speaking from regular struggles here. I have the’ burden blessing’ of many sweet angels who live in my heart and mind- the dozens of friends we have lost in the past few years, precious children who lost their lives to cancer. They keep my eyes eternally focused and help give me His eyes for my children and my circumstances. I let the cleaning, and organizing, and to-do lists slide because it is the hearts and lives of these people before me that matter.
As I dried my hair and prayed this morning I was thinking of all of our sweet angels and precious Haley came to mind just beaming and singing praise. Just 4 weeks ago this precious 16 year old young woman of God left this world as cancer overtook her body. Praying daily that my heart remain bound to heaven and not the worldly things everywhere around me. His yoke truly is light.
I love when you said “burden blessing.” What a deeply true description. There are so many suffering families. Praying you know how He’s leading you to be light in the lives of those who don’t yet know Him.
“once I reached the other side of tears and Bible and journaling and prayer, I could breathe again.”
Oh have I been there sister! Only through that time with Him. Thanks so much for sharing this!
Yes. He’s the only true “cure.” Bless you, sister.
“And He gives me the exact amount that I need to do exactly what He has for my today — especially enough time to give selfless love to those around me…” Love that you have taught me this. Thank you, friend, for being real:) Love you.
You know I love you, friend. xoxo