My sister sent me a link to a post by Rachel Held Evans this past weekend. A post about abortion.
Interestingly, I was in the midst of preparing a talk from Psalm 139. The Psalm that says things like, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” (v. 13) So, I was compelled to join in the conversation, even though approaching the subject publicly scares me near speechless. OK, not speechless.
I typically don’t get involved in such controversial issues. But in the wake of Gosnell’s verdict from last week — and the horrific details of his case — it seems the ground is ripe for discussion.
I don’t expect this little blog post to have any real effect on the world. I mean, I’m just a girl with a keyboard in a tiny sliver of cyberspace. But, I have a deep love for my Maker and a longing to see truth invade our moments. So…I write.
I know that abortion is a complex, multi-faceted, heart-wrenching, emotion-stirring topic. But I have a couple of things to say to my fellow Christian pro-lifers.
My starting place is God’s word. And if that’s where I begin, then it’s impossible for me to read passages in the Bible like Psalm 139 and come to any other conclusion. I’m pro-life for one reason.
God.
He made and continues to make life. It’s beauty. And simply because of life’s origin, it’s of great value. He forms, creates, fashions, and embroiders each and every soul while it is in the mother’s womb. He knows the strengths that will develop in each being and He knows the weaknesses that He will allow — allowed so that we would learn to depend upon Him and His matchless grace.
So yes, I’m pro-life.
But I’m also pro-grace.
And pro-love.
And pro-mercy.
And pro-forgiveness.
And pro…Jesus.
Not pro-condemnation.
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Luke 6:37
It pains me to hear some of my fellow Christ-followers speaking condemnation words over those who have had an abortion or over those thinking that it is their only choice. I can’t help but envision the scene when the religious elite brought the adulterous woman to Jesus in search of justification to stone her.
Jesus, quiet, bends down and writes in the sand. Then He says, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7) No one could throw their rock.
What honors and reflects Him is love. Love. Truth, yes. Life, absolutely. But may we be a soft place for people to land. I pray that mercy would cleanse our words and grace would define our tone. I pray we’d put down the picket signs and pointed fingers, and instead raise the banner of love to whole new high.
I’m not exactly sure what love looks like in a tangible sense when it comes to abortion, except that it begins with respectful conversation. It errs on the side of grace. And it desires healing rather than proving a point or winning an argument.
Yes, I’m pro-life, but I’m definitely not pro-condemnation.
Fill me, Lord…
I really want to know, how do you think love looks when it comes to this tender topic?
Perfectly put, Lara! So many women – even the women sitting in our church pews – have been affected by abortion. Many of them secretly carry the pain, afraid of the condemnation that may come if they tell anyone. We forget that He is a God of grace upon grace. We are all sinners. If not for His grace, we would all be lost.
Oh that burdens me so greatly. That people think they will be condemned in the church. *In* the church. It must grieve God. But by His grace it wasn’t me. But by His grace He forgave and cleansed me from so many consequential choices. Blessings to you, Amanda. Thanks for commenting.
I think love looks like being willing to adopt a child who’s mother choose life but is unable to care for her child. I think love looks like remembering there is almost always someone who has been touched by abortion in every conversation you have about it, and NOT being condemning.
Thank you thank you for saying that Bethany. I think the key word you said is “willing.” That we would open up our hands and our plans to God and say “whatever You have for us I want.” Again, thank you.
Well said, Lara. Last year I had lunch with a sweet church friend who I’d known for years. In our conversation she told me she’d had an abortion in high school and as she said it, her eyes filled up with tears. I hate abortion, but I love her dearly. Yes, to pro-Jesus, and pro-love!
There is so much pain as a repercussion to the choice. Praying we as Jesus-followers are hands of love and healing.
I think that love looks like prayer, listening, and having open arms. It’s difficult because so many say that love looks like accepting and letting people do whatever they want – never saying that anything is wrong. I’m certain that’s not it. However, there is a difference between speaking truth into someone’s life and condemning them for their thoughts or situation. I have a special, soft place in my heart for people who have been through this and they already know that it was wrong. They already hurt enough on their own. We need to comfort and lead them to Jesus – the only One who can heal them.
I love that it says in the Word that Jesus was full of grace and truth. Grace AND truth. Both. May that be true of us. xoxo
Love might just look like a hug and words of understanding. This puts an extremely controversial subject into loving words. You could easily put other subjects into the same context…divorce, homosexuality…not pro-condemnation! Thank you Lara!
Oh girl. Amen and amen! I totally agree. Forgive us, Lord, for preaching condemnation.
I have been pondering this very issue this week. When I lived in sin, before I had a transformation from being born again into this walk with God, it was only the grace of God that kept me from being in that situation, I’m sure. I don’t know what it is that separates a person who CAN go through with an abortion from one who CANNOT. I don’t think I ever could have done it.. I always just knew that if I got pregnant I would have a baby. However, there are plenty of other sins that I did commit that I cringe in shame at. It is hard for me to throw the first stone.
It is a complicated issue for sure.
When I had babies of my own and definitely when I began my walk with God, abortion became an important issue with me. I could not imagine taking the life of that precious baby. It all took on new meaning. I will say though, that I don’t think you really realize how much you are going to love that precious baby until he/she is born, you hold him in your arms, and that love from God just flows overwhelmingly. I have thought of it almost as being a completeness of the process of conception, pregnancy and birth. I feel like women who have lost their babies, or had an abortion, have probably suffered some sort of trauma from not being able to experience that completeness.
Partly because of that, my heart breaks for those who have had an abortion. I don’t think they knew what they were doing in a sense. It really doesn’t become real sometimes, until you actually hold that baby in your arms.
Because I believe that there probably already is a weight of guilt and pain for those who have gone through abortion, (even if they don’t realize it) it is difficult to jump on the political bandwagon, for me. I am always aware, if I post something about abortion, that someone out there that I know and care about, has gone through this, and cannot change that fact. I, like you, want to deal with them in grace and forgiveness, just as I would want to be dealt with in grace and forgiveness. If only we could have a way to PREVENT abortions, without harming the ones who, for whatever reason, have already gone through them and can’t change the fact.
I have much more I could say about this…but it would be a book…
Great post. I did want to mention something though. Are you saying
pro-life in the sense as for life, no matter what.. or in the political
sense of Pro-life? I was very heart broken when last year I finally
researched what Pro-life in the political sense was.. and read it was
still for abortions in certain cases of rape, mother’s life in
danger…ect. I felt stupid to assume pro-life meant for life no matter
what. I know that the situations listed are very hard ones.. and I pray I
never have to be faced with that decision, but I truly believe only God
can create life and only God can choose for a life to end. Our God is a
exact God, never changing.. and to have any reason for killing a life
He created, is unbearable to me. I pray that we will have a leader come
forth and who will stand strong on God’s word and be For Life no matter
what..
I do think we should always love.. WE put so much value
on sin.. Murder is worse than gossiping, Homosexuality is worse than
stealing…but God’s words says a sin is a sin no matter what.. We will
be all judged the same by God…if you ever gossiped it is like you have
murdered in Gods eyes. I think we need to remember that especially when
we start to judge others. I think if we were to ask around and people
would admit it, many of us know someone who has made the choice to
abort. Many God fearing, wise women, who are doing great leaps and
bounds for His kingdom.. that in fact that sin caused them to make a
turn to God and His work to help save others. God can and will use every
situation in our being, to allow us to bring Glory to Him and Him only.
He loves us at all cost, no matter what and we should do the
same for others. He sent His Son to die for all of us.. not just the
“good” ones.. and I praise Him for that every day.
I’m not talking politically. I avoid political discussions as much as possible, Janet. Ha. Call it a cop out. But I’m talking about God’s love and design of life. Just as you said, every situation is complex and unique. But like you, I believe our God is one who can work miraculous things even in the most devastating of situations *to those who seek Him.*
You are so right. We must always connect our pro-life and our pro-grace thoughts when we talk about this issue. I’ve been surprised by the women who’ve shared with me that they’ve had abortions (precious, Christian sisters) and to hear the wounds that leaves on their hearts. Some carry it quietly, some have become outspoken advocates for life. It’s been very convicting to me to support life in a way that offers love and compassion to women who are also victims of the abortion crisis. Jesus is not here to condemn our sisters. Jesus is so pro-life. So pro-adoption. So pro-coming-alongside women who chose life but need to have supportive community around them as they parent.
Yes, Shannon. I’d love to hear specifics as to how He’s led you to support life in a way that offers love and compassion. I know we have a local organization that does just that. And it’s a blessing to hear the testimonies of women who’ve made a difficult choice, considering their circumstances, to not abort. Thanks for commenting.
I AM a woman who had a baby at 19, am a pastor’s daughter, all that good stuff… my mom and family made it possible for me to parent my daughter. Now, 14yrs later, I’m happily married, a mama of 3, watching MY teen advocate for LIFE. She did a pro-life presentation this year in her way-liberal public school with the support of community agencies. She interviewed women we know who’ve made adoption plans and one who I had no idea had had abortions as a teen, but who heard of Lia’s project and asked if she could share her story. It was incredible. Also I learned of a close family member, years ago, who had an abortion as well as a really Jesus-adoring friend who had one as well. These tender, beautiful women being vulnerable to share with me causes me to be really asking God for grace and sensitivity to share His heart for life in tune with His heart for these mamas. I blogged about my daughter’s project http://bit.ly/12JbNUo after she presented it, if anyone is interested. I’m so happy you’re raising this topic for discussion!
Wow. Thank you so much for being willing to put your story out there. How needed! And your daughter! Oh. my. How precious that is. I can only imagine how you must overflow with love and thanksgiving. God is so amazing to use our scars as places of ministry. Praying He opens door after door as you share your story. Be blessed, sister-friend.
Lara, Interesting post. I agree that this is a tender topic, yet I find it to be less complex than your writing (and the other article linked here) suggests. Yes, there are some who are quick to condem, yet I believe that in their hearts, most Christians are not judgmental but sympathetic to those struggling with an unplanned pregnancy. As I see it, the debate has primarily been driven by the pro-abortion movement.
If we are able to strip away all of the political and social arguments – we might just see a mother (and often a father) who is hurting.
Lara, I would encourage you to look past the “noise” and find a way to help those who are hurting. Once you do, you can inspire others to do the same.
In Christ,
Bobby Singleton
Thanks for commenting, Bobby. And I pray you are right about most Christians “in their hearts…not being judgemental.” Though the heart is so deceptive and can quickly fall into proud judgement. Which is why Jesus so adamantly confronted the Pharisees (as you know).
And I so hope we as the church would see the mothers and fathers struggling, rather than just point and debate. Also thank you for your encouragement to find practical ways to love those who are hurting. That’s my prayer (and my question above that I posed to my readers). And personally He has led me to “do” some things — like walking beside a young woman who was seriously debating her choice. Thankfully because of God’s movement through our friendship she didn’t abort that precious baby. Instead she saw the kindness and love of her Maker. Praying He allows more opportunities in my life like that one.
Only by His grace, Lara