I’ve tried to start this post three times. But words feel so trite. Plus there’s the tension of how to transition from a moment of silence to speaking again. Because I can only imagine that those feeling the constant, throbbing pain can’t fathom taking even the slightest step forward. Not yet.

I remember the confusing frustration after my dad died. The world went back to normal living while my life had been so loudly interrupted. It felt wrong. And I didn’t handle it well at all.

Instead of turning to the only One who could truly heal the ache, I spent seven-ish years numbing the pain and running away from God in bitter anger. Grief can do that. It can send us running.

So all I’m offering today is a phrase. One that has helped me process pain and move through grief in my own life over the years. Because the only way to the other side of grief is through it.

“Ride the waves.”

 

 

Ride the waves. Because pain comes in waves. At first, the waves are endless — one right after another, stealing every breath. We gasp and flail under their intimidation. Until there’s a break in the pounding — a moment to breathe.

Then…the next wave.

Over time the breaks between the waves lengthen. Time does help heal even the sharpest of wounds, though scars always remain tender.

But the real question is what to do when the wave hits. What to do when we feel like we’re drowning in pain. And I’ve learned there’s only one solution that heals the soul.

Numbing the pain only masks the wound. Running from the wave doesn’t tend to the grief. It’s when we choose to process the pain in the presence of God that true healing births.

 

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
Psalm 121:1-4

 

It’s when we come to Him with all of our raw, sad, angry, bitter emotions. We holler and weep at His feet. We question and beg for answers.

And then, we rest. We choose to listen to the One who sees the beginning from the end. We choose to believe that His love covers us and His faithfulness endures.

Until the next wave comes pounding. And we have to process the pain all over again.

Grief is a process. We have to move through it. But when we move through it with Him, the painful wounds eventually find healing.