It can all blur together if I haven’t set the rules. Mommyhood mixed with writing desires and facebook and dusty furniture. If I don’t draw some lines to define my time, then time defines me. And it pushes.
The dearest people on the planet call me mama, wife, friend, sister, and daughter. I’m also blogger, speaker, writer, housekeeper, and homemaker — hats that describe what my hands help create. But ultimately I am HIS. And I believe he willingly guides our moments if we let him.
So for this multi-tasking-woman, he has led me to set some boundaries. They help me breathe and hear…and even love.
Here are a few…
- Social Media
This is huge. HUGE! If there is one thing that can distract me it’s social media. So I set limits. I spend about 15 minutes in the morning, after my time with Him and before the kids wake up. Then another 15ish minutes in the afternoon during their rest time. If my man is working at night I may linger a bit longer once the kids are down to bed. Otherwise my response to comments or tweets is limited. I want to respond and see what the world is doing. I mean, I love you guys. But I know my weaknesses and this one can steal so much from me. - Blogging
I. love. to. blog. I started blogging over three years ago when my youngest was an infant because I knew I had a call to teach and to write but life circumstances limited what I could do. But I could blog even if I never made it out of my pajamas that day. And it has truly become an outlet for me. But again, I have to limit it. So during naptime I write new posts, respond to comments, and write some more until my kids wake up. Then in the morning before my posts go live I do one final edit. - Email
I’m not so good with email. I try to prioritize, meaning that if an email isn’t pressing then I don’t respond right away. Typically I take a few minutes each day to weed through my inbox determining what needs to be addressed immediately. Otherwise it may take a week for me to get back to someone through email. Thanks for your grace on this one. - Housekeeping
I am a recovering perfectionist. I used to even stack my dishes in an alternating pattern inside the cupboard. Can we say issues?! But I say recovering because I no longer mind a little mess. Three kids in four years did this to me. I have a cleaning schedule each week that keeps the house orderly while freeing up my time. If you’re curious, here it is. My {very loose} housekeeping schedule…Monday: Clean glass surfaces and mirrors. And periodically I do a {quick} dust.
Tuesday: Clean bathrooms
Wednesday: Mop kitchen floor {Which typically happens about once a month. Grace.}
Thursday: Vaccum
Friday: Wash sheets and towels
Everyday: Laundry {I’ve found that if I do small loads each day I keep up with it better.}
Everyday: “Clean Sweep” This is when the kids and I go through the house and pick up any strays.
Everyday: Kids do their individual chore.It usually only takes me about 20-30 minutes each day.
- Speaking
At this point in our family life, we have decided that I only travel one to two times per month for speaking engagements. Typically I am only away for 24-48 hours. It works for us. - Weekly Retreats
Each week my mom blesses me with a day away. She takes over mommy duties and I sink into my favorite booth at Panera to write. It. is. glorious. It also helps me to set certain things aside during the week that I know I can get to when that weekly retreat comes around.
I set these boundaries so I can be all there for those I love. I set these boundaries so I can look into my kids’ eyes or listen to my husband’s day without being {too} distracted. It is a battle. Filling multiple roles comes with its need for continual discipline. But time is precious and I try to stay diligent so as not to waste it.
If he calls us to something, he will guide. We have enough time in the day to do all he has for us to do. With love at the core.
Fill me Lord…
How have you struggled with boundaries?
What boundaries do you personally set?
Excellent boundaries. I keep feeling that nudge to get back to my schedule so the important things are getting done. I’m going to have to just do it or I will never have peace. 🙂
Thanks for the tips! 🙂
I struggle with boundaries, too! I also am a little impulsive, so in the middle of one project I get a good blog idea and jump right on it rather than writing it down and putting it aside for what I have planned for that day. Sigh! Thanks for your insights.
That’s a great idea–writing it down and putting it aside. Blessings.
This is a biggie for me. I tend to say “yes” to way too many things and I forget that it IS possible for me to spread myself too thin and then be good for nothing. Thank you for this. I needed the reminder. 🙂
This describes me exactly. Oy.
Reading the book “Boundaries” by Cloud & Townsend changed my life. It is so important. This was a great post, Lara. I love it when you get practical 🙂
🙂 Thanks Shana.
Thank you, Lara, for this encouragement today! This is a big issue for me right now, as I am trying to figure out those boundaries after going back to work! Hearing how you have structured things in your life was so helpful! You are so right when you said it requires discipline! Thank the Lord that when He calls us to something, He will equip and guide and provide the time as long as we seek His agenda and not our own! 🙂
Thank you, Lara, for this encouragement today! This is a big issue for me right now, as I am trying to figure out those boundaries after going back to work! Hearing how you have structured things in your life was so helpful! You are so right when you said it requires discipline! Thank the Lord that when He calls us to something, He will equip and guide and provide the time as long as we seek His agenda and not our own! 🙂
Thank you, Lara, for this encouragement today! This is a big issue for me right now, as I am trying to figure out those boundaries after going back to work! Hearing how you have structured things in your life was so helpful! You are so right when you said it requires discipline! Thank the Lord that when He calls us to something, He will equip and guide and provide the time as long as we seek His agenda and not our own! 🙂
Thank you, Lara, for this encouragement today! This is a big issue for me right now, as I am trying to figure out those boundaries after going back to work! Hearing how you have structured things in your life was so helpful! You are so right when you said it requires discipline! Thank the Lord that when He calls us to something, He will equip and guide and provide the time as long as we seek His agenda and not our own! 🙂
This is great!
I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries for our family, and for my time. I need to slip away for some one on one with God and ask Him to help me define those boundaries. Thanks for the examples and encouragement. 🙂
That is so key–one on one time with Him. My boundaries may be very different from yours. He is so faithful to guide. 🙂
Hmmm, you must be my 2×4. I have been seeking God’s guidance as I discern my online time and He spoke volumes in this post to me.
Thank you.
I love your boundaries and I love that you call them that, rather than balance. Boundaries are so much more doable! {and I am slightly envious of your weekly retreats!!!]
Oh girl, those weekly retreats are priceless.
Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom. Such a verse is a great reminder to do just what you did and set boundaries. Making a schedule or at least a routine can also relieve stress and free us from having to make the same type of little decisions day in and day out, which can be draining. It’s definitely a wise thing to do. I have used schedules for years, but I have to confess that being a “moody musician” sometimes makes me want to ignore it. 🙂
Your mom sounds like an angel!
Totally. It is such a gift.
I can so get caught up doing things online and had set bondaries, but some days they just get left on the wayside. I admire the fact that you are able to get some me time, thanks for sharing.
This is beautiful and just what I needed. I am getting ready to start up blogging in earnest and I need to set these kinds of limits BEFORE I can let it take over my life. Oh, dear sister – you have truly blessed me today.
Those are great boundaries! Thankfully my amazing husband gives me an afternoon off once a week. I scrapbook, or get some tea, take a walk – just something that is just for ME. We’ve been doing this about 6 months and it has really helped my sanity!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your blog. I just found it three days ago and it’s been a real ministry to me already!!! I’ve been thinking about this for awhile now and have decided to put a timer on the computer desk:) It’s so easy to lose track of time on the computer. I often wonder if this will be what eternity will be like (no real sense of the passage of time or time at all).