Sometimes I speak before I think. Like the other day when I tried to make “small talk” and it came out insensitive and clichéd. But words affect other people just like they affect me.
That’s why I want to take the verse “slow to speak” to heart. (James 1:19) I want that phrase seared on my brain so that I open my mouth thoughtfully.
Because Paul said for every word of ours — every. word. — to impart grace to the hearer. (Eph. 4:29) That includes my (lively) kids, my hardworking man, and even that not-so-kind stranger in the grocery store line.
flickr photo credit: white ribbons
So here are four things that help me to guard my mouth, all under the umbrella of God’s empowering:
- Keep in constant conversation with God — When I’m sad, I need to talk to Him. Frustrated, talk to Him. Angry, talk to Him. Irritable, happy, stressed, tired, busy, blessed, always talk to Him. Staying in constant conversation places an automatic guard over my lips.
- Think on true things — I know I talk about this incessantly, but from the heart the mouth speaks. If I’m thinking true thoughts — love thoughts — about those around me, then love will come out.
- Identify situations or emotions that cause us to speak impulsively — I can speak impulsively when my kids disobey the same directive for the 18th time that day. I’ve learned that about myself and “try” to stay on guard to the frustration.
- Pause. Think. Then speak. — Kinda like stop, drop, and roll. But not. It never fails. The times when I need to apologize are the times when I speak before a pause (and with little thinking.)
Our words do affect people. I want others to walk away from me feeling as if my words lifted them, not that I brought them down. But I can’t do that when left to myself. Only when I abide in Him and His words abide in me do my words pour out blessing. (John 15:4-5)
Fill me, Lord…
How do you guard your own mouth?
This is so good. And so appropriate for all of us. Thank you.
Hugs to you, friend.
Lara, I’ve been so convicted this week about how I respond to one of my children in that very situation you just described. Thank you for the reminders. I’m going to talk to the Lord first before I respond to my children today and think on how He is slow to anger and quick to love.
Me too, friend.
Abiding in Him. This changes the world. Thank you for the great post!
I experienced the great value of a woman living like this the other day, when I had just a three minute chat with an older, more mature lady in our community. It wasn’t a very deep conversation, just a few arrangements that needed to be discussed and off we went.. but I left feeling like I had been loved. It was her choice of words, her thoughtfulness, her very obvious connection to God which shone through her. What an example.
Thank you for the practical ideas of how I can grow in this area and hopefully one day be a woman who can also love people through just a short conversation!
GREAT words for one who struggles to find them…
Recently I was REALLY low on cash and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money.. on the internet. I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills!! I’m so glad, I did this! With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. – 7×23