I was in fifth grade when it started. I think. My pink framed glasses were thick. Freckles defined my skin. My hair was a forgettable brown. My body awkwardly small. It was then that insecurity began lingering around my mind like an unwanted stranger.
Two of the more popular girls sat near me in class. Their clothes were cuter and their words were funnier. And day-by-day I grew increasingly jealous over their seeming 10-year-old perfection.
They wrote secret notes to each other and folded them into cute little patterns. Well, they did until that fateful day. The day I stole their entire bag of elementary school chatter. I took it home and stuffed it in the back of a drawer, never even reading more than a couple of their inscriptions.
One of them asked if I had done it. I suppose I wasn’t as incognito as I had hoped. But I lied and denied and stuck firm to my story for the rest of our school days together.
Who does that?
Someone entangled in a web of comparison.
It’s a trap. And so many of us have been or are currently chained by it. We look to those beside us to assign our value. We compare and contrast and pine for affirmation. Yet as believers we are declared daughters (and sons) of the King.
We are chosen and planned. We have purpose and meaning. Our hands have tasks to accomplish that our Maker specifically set aside for us. He looks us in the eyes. He lifts our chin. He empowers where we are weak.
No longer do I live in that land of comparison. Granted I have my passport stamped and I receive invitations to go back and dwell. I even periodically pass through. But my God has freed me.
He defines me. He thinks good things about me. He sees the purpose in His designing me. And I choose to believe Him.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
Psalm 139:17-18
Oh, and for the record. I caught up with one of those girls just a couple of years ago. I confessed to my adolescent acts and she graciously forgave.
Today’s thought life challenge…
- Pray that our God would reveal any comparison thoughts upon which you dwell.
- Write down some of the things he says about you from scripture.
- Declare the true things out-loud when those old thoughts come.
Fill me, Lord…
How have you battled thoughts of comparison?
What truths most encourage you?
OUr thought life is so powerful… some days I can be so content where God has me then I see someone who I think is “doing better than me” and wow… the contentment is gone.. just like that! God is teaching me to fix my eyes on him, to know that he as plans for me that will prosper me, not harm me, that I am loved, I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that he created me for a purpose. Through the grace of God, I can live where he has me… If I look at him, those things I once yearned for fade in comparison!
That was totally me- down to the freckles and brown hair. And when I was that age I didn’t know God or His love or His definition of me. No one ever told me. And so I drowned daily in that comparison for years and years. And still today, I find myself drawn to the waters. Every thought captive has become my mantra. Thanks Lara, for your transparency and encouragement! They mean so much!
Again- your words! You are letting Him use you friend and I love it! Thank you for this series!! Love you!!!
Oh, wow, thank you. Just yesterday I was realizing (again) how much our thoughts control our days. In the span of a week I have been touched by death of three people. I wasn’t particularly close to any of them, but death can grab you no matter where you stand. I was thinking yesterday, wondering on the “whys” and realized that if I go there and sink to that sadness, I might not make it back out.
I get so much encouragement from these words. Help finding the solid ground of God and His word to stand on and walk on through this life.
Thank you!
DV-NMV
Thank you Lara for your candid truth. I am studying Ephesians right now…adopted into his family. I choose to believe the truth…good good stuff. Love ya!
I think females tend to compare more so than males do. Will I do admire strong beautiful woman, I am happy to me. God has blessed me above and beyond measure which I do not deserve. But, I am loved by the King and it makes my heart wanna sing. I love my love, thank you Jesus.
Peace, <
Thank you for the beauty of your honesty. I fight this battle, too. I have loved this series – so much truth!
Wow, I feel like most of my life has been lived in comparison, and just recently I felt it creeping towards jealousy. Yuck!! So, when you have the temptation to compare, do you quote a verse, pray, both? I feel like I am struggling putting this all into practice. Looking forward to freedom!!
It’s funny, the more I write about the thought life, the more I realize how complex and multi-faceted it really is.
Yes. I have also battled against jealousy. From “ministry” to motherhood and everything in between. And though it sounds so churchy, I have learned that quoting scripture and praying really does change my perspective. I basically — out-loud — preach truth to myself. Whether it’s jealousy or false thoughts about another, I find that I have to hear the true things in my own ears. So I preach to myself — usually not in Wal-Mart or the grocery store because I would get seriously strange looks. And then that inevitably leads me into a time of conversation with Him. A time of confession and seeking.
I’m not in any way implying this is easy. The Christian life is one of great diligence and perseverence. But we have been given the weapons to bring these thoughts captive to obedience — captive to our Lord. And our weapons are His word and prayer.
Praying for you, sweet sister. Running…RUNNING this race beside you.
I think we all did it as children. But now the stakes are highr. We all have God given gifts for Kingdom service. The adversary wants us to believe that certain service of ministry are move important to God than others. This lie can have many people dissatisfied and out of the will of God. We must constantly be on the look out for the enemy’s tactics. Our instinct may be to compare our service to another’s. But like King David said: ” I would rather be a DOORKEEPER in the house of God than to dwell in the tents of wickedness. When we get the urge to compare ourselves to others, we must remember that in the end, God loves us all, and our righteousness is ALL filthy rag righteousness. These two things level the playing field and free us allow God to use us in spite of our shortcomings. None of us have arrived.
I apologize for the lenngth, but my ministry is to women and I’ve taught A women’s Sunday school class. I see this mindset play out more than I can say. Thanks for this post. I will pass it on to some of my young women.
Blessings!