It’s true. I have had a few unsubscribers throughout my blogging years. *gasp* And when it happens, I receive a kind, little email that informs me of said unsubscription.
But it teaches me something every time. It reveals that I still have a desire lurking inside of me that wants to please people. I know this because when I see those emails I always assume the worst. In fact I often read something like this,
“Because you are such a pathetic writer with nothing good to say, sweet and perfect Jane Smith is dropping you from her inbox. She no longer wants to hear you drone on and on about this and that. So have a great life. She sure will…now.”
I proceed to sulk for a minute wondering why perfect Jane Smith left me.
But then that faithful God of ours reminds me (yet again). He turns my face to his and has me speak true things.
You — this One who names me “daughter.” And you are King.
A royal heritage.
My ultimate call is not to please people. Love people, yes. But please people, no. My deepest desire, after I dig through the mess of me, is to please my God.
When I write I ask him, “Have I honored you?” When I speak I beseech him, “Be my mouth.” As I move about in this thing called life I say, “Fill me, Lord, to overflowing.” Otherwise, I’ve missed it.
So thank you, lovely unsubscriber of mine. You teach me something. You reveal, again, the desperation of this finite heart to rest secure in my infinite God.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?
Or am I trying to please man?
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
Fill me, Lord…
How have you wrestled against pleasing people versus pleasing God?
Oh and guess what?! Katie Orr and I now have our ebook title, cover, and release date set. So exciting. Click here to see the cover and read more about what’s to come. Blessings!
Ooooooh, this totally hits a nerve! My biggest goal this year (I love January 1st!) was to disentangle myself from the need for approval by others. I have had to consciously push that need away hundreds of times- it’s like one of those burs from the woods that sticks on your socks. You have to actually pick it up between your fingers and get rid of it. Love this post!!
That’s such a great image! Consciously pick that bur off our socks. They hurt if we don’t. Thanks, friend.
So true Lara. I too deal with this a LOT, being someone in the public eye. First it was the “unfriend” and “unsubscribe” person who I told myself was just too busy – that this was nothing personal. Then it was the hateful comments (on YouTube) that I told myself was nothing personal – that surely they didn’t mean it. Then I finally accepted that some people will hate me, hate what I do, and have no problem telling me. And I’m FINALLY okay with that. As long as I am good with my God. The comments still sting, and I do have to look at whether I have hurt someone unknowingly. But after that, it’s between me and the Father – who knows full well what it’s like to be persecuted. Remember that to some we will smell like a fragrant rose – to others a foul stench – and to others, nothing, because they simply didn’t notice us at all. Thanks for sharing this post – for all those people pleasers like me out there.
Thou art so wise, my friend.
Yes, yes and more yes. I did the “no other god” study by Kelly minter and was smacked in the face with the reality that the approval of others had become my idol, my other god. My energy, time, emotion were all directed toward the approval of others. Not that I have overcome but when I feel the idol worship creep up again, I cling to scripture to correct my worship of the one True God. Thanks Lara for another reminder!
Love Kelly Minter studies. And that is so true about idol worship. We don’t like to name it that but ultimately…it is.
Love Heather’s comment below. Also, just another side to it – I went through at one point and unsubscribed from as many emails as I could – even things I liked – because it was just too much coming in. I don’t subscribe to blogs, so you were not on the list 🙂 I prefer to just go and read on my time instead of having my inbox overflowing more than it already is and making me feel stressed. Sooooooooo, my long winded point is that Jane Smith may still love your blog, but plans to read it from a bookmark when she can instead of from email 🙂 I know this was not the point of your post, but I did just want to clarify that unsubscribing is not always related to the level of love of a website/blog/devotional….sometimes it just an attempt to slow down email. Love your writing and hope you have a great day!
You’re right, Jenn. I know that’s true. I’ve done the same with my own inbox. It’s just my default assumes the worst. (You are precious!)
Amen and Amen! He has been teaching me and whittling away on my character in much the same way this summer. Love God, love people like Jesus would love them (even when it hurts and is HARD). When we live completely and totally to please HIM and Him alone, everything else (peace, joy, patience, kindness, self control, etc) is a lot easier, and although those human rejections still hurt, it’s better when put in the perspective of pleasing the most important Person there is. Blessings to you, my friend. So glad to have gotten to know you a bit better this summer and blessed to know another friend who is striving to be a serious runner and not walking along the sidelines eating doughnuts! 🙂
It’s been great getting to know you better this summer too. Thanks for coming to my class, and for running beside me. I’m excited to see what God does with you and your family in these coming days!
Oh, Lara! I feel your “pain”! I was just defriended for the first time by someone on Facebook b/c I had confronted her on a sin issue. Nevertheless, the ouch from being defriended surprised me….esp. since it is in the “techo” world. But, it is a good reminder that we are to fear the Lord above man and seek His good pleasure. You, my sweet friend, I trust are doing just that. Thank you for your wonderfully-worded reminder!
I miss you, Bets! We have to plan a time to see one another again. Thanks for “stopping by” my blog and sharing that encouragement. You’re a sweet one.
I love all the things that He teaches us through blogging that we would have missed had we never stepped out into cyper space. I have struggled with the numbers and comments but I have to go back to the why? Why do I write? I wanted Father to bring those that He desires, those that can be ministered to through these ramblings. I still forget this occasionally.
I needed this reminder. Thank you!
Oh how I wrestle with this! What I love about the Lord is He knows me so well. He knows when I am depending on those “Likes” or “sweet comments”. He gently sets me straight. But he also knows when I actually need a “Thanks Jen, I needed that” comment to help me along my blogging journey. Some days I have to meditate on the fact that I am writing a love letter to Christ with my blogging efforts. If no person sees it or likes it, I know God does. But boy some days I sure do wrestle and its because the enemy sees what makes me stumble and question. Most importantly though is that God sees more. He see’s what I actually need over what I thought I wanted. Thank you for this post!
I am always reminding myself that I am here to please God and not man. I remember one time a nonbeliever confronted me about something and I told her just that, she replied go back to your God. That is were I want to be with God, concerned with how He views me and if I am doing His will and not my own.
Peace, <
truer words couldn’t be spoken. I just received an unsubscribing email too & my immediate response is your response. Thank you Lara!
I relate to this too, Lara. I don’t like getting those unsubscribe notifications, but they are good for me for the lessons they teach. Thanks for putting this into such fitting words that help us all!
i really struggle in this area. i am forever second guessing myself based on the reactions of others to me. i want to be free from this. i want to please God and love people. thanks for posting.
Thanks, friend. I know the battle of second guessing. Praying we keep our eyes set firm on Him and His declarations of who we are.
It’s so tough to realize how much of who we are is formed by how we try to please people! I burn myself out at work over not just the need to please, but the need to impress. I’m realizing that every moment I spend trying to please someone is time I can’t spend on pleasing God.
That is such a good distinction — not just the need to please but the need to impress. And yes, it totally burns us out when we live that way. Praying with you, friend.
I think this is an awesome post & I love the message but I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to get that e-mail if you don’t want to! I unchecked the box next to “email notify me if someone unsubscribes” and life has been nicer ever since 😉
Totally gonna do that. 😉 Thanks.