I spoke this week at a MOPS group — which I love to do because I get moms of preschoolers. I get that your clothes have perpetual food stains because your child has mentally concluded that your leg is a napkin. And that you don’t wear white jeans for that very reason. And that you can’t identify that smell in your minivan. I get that. I still live in that land. Anyway, I digress.
So I spoke at a MOPS group about embracing our identity in Christ. And as I prepared for that talk, God showed me that embracing who we are in Christ not only profoundly affects us personally — stirring up hope and peace and joy even through dark times. But believing what God says about us has profound implications on our relationships with others.
That’s when it came to me. We can either be life-suckers or life-givers in our relationships.
You know you want to say “life-sucker”. Go ahead.
A life-sucker sucks the life out of a relationship because she is so insecure in who she is. With her attitude and actions, she all-but-begs for affirmation. She needs life to go as she has planned and people to do what she expects in order to have even an ounce of temporary soul-rest. And when people or circumstances fail her, she spirals into hopelessness.
Nobody likes being or being with a life-sucker.
But then there’s the life-giver. Her eyes stay focused on God. She recites God’s declarations over her and promises to her. She trusts Him even when she can’t see the outcome because she knows Who’s in control. She stands secure on the character of her God, therefore she’s so full of love and grace that she can spill it out onto those around her. She pours life into her relationships because she’s so full of God.
We all like being and being with life-givers.
I’ve been (and can still be, if I’m not on-guard) a life-sucker — depending on people or circumstance to give me the abundance my soul craves. It ain’t pretty. And it always leaves me restless. But when God graces me with the chance to be a life-giver because I walk secure in what He says about me, I experience the freedom to love that He intended for us in Christ. And there’s truly nothing like it.
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
Lord-willing, I’m going to spend the next four blog posts talking about four necessary aspects to being a life-giver in our relationships. And because we have so much that tries to suck life from us, I wanted the four things to be super easy to remember. Which is why I created an acronym with the word “LIFE”. Because good teachers create acronyms, right?
So stay close. And in the meantime, practice reciting what God says about you in Psalm 139. He absolutely cannot stop thinking about you, friend.
Fill me, Lord…
How have you experienced the life-sucker vs. life-giver in your relationships?
Awesomeness. I’ve pulled my seat right up to this table and can’t wait to read what you dish out from the Lord. I totally slip into life-sucking mode on occasion and I do.not.like.it.
Looking forward to this wisdom and truth!!
I don’t like it either, Sarah. It’s gross. And how I wish your seat was literally pulled up in front of me with a cup of hot coffee on the table. Wouldn’t that be the best?! Talk soon.
I am so glad you spoke at MOPS (I was there). And now I’m happy to find your blog. God is using you to speak to me. Thanks for being His faithful servant.