Our middle son has been our biggest parenting challenge lately. He’s brave and tender-hearted, creative and smart, but, like each and every one of us, has lots of weaknesses. And as of late, those weaknesses have pushed me to the edge of my sanity.
It’s been a season where I’ve wondered if anything I’m saying is actually affecting his little spirit. It’s been one of those times where I go into his room after he’s asleep and just pray over him, that I would have wisdom to know how to point him to Jesus. And then last night happened.
Bottom line, he cut himself with a knife. No, I didn’t know he had the knife but he was trying to play hero to his little brother by “fixing” a wooden rocketish thing with a pocket knife. He came into the bathroom with the widest, fearful eyes holding out his index finger to me with blood running down his hand.
I asked what happened and he told me about the knife. I tried not to lecture but reminded him that mommy and daddy’s rules are there to keep him safe. He said he now understood. Then I told him I may need to let the doctor look at it to see if he needed stitches. That’s when he got terrified.
“Stitches! No!” he hollered. Then he tried to push me out of the bathroom so he could close the door. “What are you doing, buddy?!” He paused for a minute and then looked up at me with his eyes all watery, “I need to pray.”
Oh my heart. “OK, go ahead.” So I closed the door and listened to his muffled cry to God. And. Let. Me. Tell. You. My heart broke wide open. My boy, in all his fear, did exactly what I’ve prayed he would learn to do in his life. He went to God.
Go to God.
It’s the thing we all need to do. The one thing that matters. The one thing that will give us strength when we’re weak. The one thing that can empower us to take the next step. The one thing that’s needed.
But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. ”
Luke 10:41-42
I don’t tell you that story to pat myself on the back. Believe me. For that one story of his good choice I have 43 more of his childish poor choices. So if we’re really weighing my parenting ability based upon the actions of my kids, I’d be failing. (Which is why I’m a firm believer that we as parents shouldn’t define our success as a parent by what our kids do or don’t do. But that’s another post for another day.)
I tell you that story to encourage us towards that one thing. Wherever life has you or me today, whatever the challenges or fears or uncertainties, there’s one necessary thing: Go to Him. Sit at His feet and let Him pour life into us with His Word.
He’s the only One who can truly lift us out of the pit. He’s the only One who can get into our soul and stir up hope in the valley of despair. He’s the only One who can minister to the deep places of our heart. So close the bathroom door and cry out to Him. Soul-healing awaits.
(And yes, my sweet boy had to have three stitches. A rite of passage he’s now very proud of.)
Fill me, Lord…
Where do you go and what do you do to cry out to God?
I’m not yet a parent, but my heart also smiled when I read what your baby said. It is heartwarming, and I bet God was also smiling. Our Children are also His children 🙂
Thanks for that sweet comment, Ashlynn. Regardless of whether we have kids or not, we both know how necessary it is to do that one thing — sit at His feet. Blessings to you. 🙂
Oh, those moment when our children – in their own motives – reach out to God for their hearts needs….those moments more than make up for the countles others which leave us banging out heads against a wall. What a blessing.
My ‘bathroom’ is my writing…it is here that I cry to him and when I hear him respond loudest.
You are so right, Sarah. Those moments can carry us through the ones that make us want to run for cover. If we (I) can make a point to remember those “moments of brilliance,” as a friend calls them. And I totally get the “writing” thing. Yes. The power of pouring out with words.
Ok so I totally loved that. It was all and everything God wanted me to hear today. Thank you.
Thanks for that, Ruth. Praying you’re sensing the depth of His love over you today.
to the floor on my face saying, “i believe. help my unbelief….”
Yes. Preach it, friend. “Help my unbelief.”
I went to read this post several times today and got distracted every time. Now, at 10:30pm at night, after a pretty rough bedtime with two of the three kiddos, I NEEDED this. So bad. Thank you for encouraging my soul to rest in Him tonight.
Recently I was really, really low on money and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money on the internet. I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills!! I’m so glad, I did this.. – 516W